#anyway this is clearly self indulgent dont mind me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

malzykins · 3 months ago

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GIVES US THE VOID HAND FREAKS LORE!!! (You dont have to if you dont want to)

OH BOY. well with a nice little request like that how can i say no 😇

HUGE preface that this is very AU-heavy because. like I got no beef with the actual canon but I just want to play around with my favourite characters like little dollies if that is okay. :]

To even get to the freaks though we do have to start at the beginning of this for it all to make even a lick of sense and to me anyway it feels like a lot.. warning not one centimeter of this is without some form of mental degradation and shameless self-indulgence (<- failing to cope with the lasting effects of cringe culture)

absolutely MASSIVE text post belo im dead serious:

Nothing much really differs from the origin of the Operator/Drifter themselves, all the Zariman shit still happens etc. Operator was kind of a bastard child (shes 12 most of them are, but i digress LOL), very much the kinda person to stick their nose in everyone’s business and try to “fix” all their problems if she thought something could be gained from it (sound familiar?), be it a compensation from the people themselves or from her seniors getting basically surface-level information about it all and being like aww what a good kid!! and gassing her up with all this praise. Most other kids definitely knew what she was doing, or at least didnt like her or the vibe she put off, but it didnt really stop her cause that’s not whose opinion she necessarily cared about the most.

When the Zariman incident happened, her ENTIRE support group became her enemy and she was left with nothing. She got her just desserts alright and it broke her, like really broke her, like watching a spoiled brat finally get what’s coming to em and she genuinely did like a total heel-turn in terms of personality temperament etc. She became a lottt more prone to acting childish and favoured emotional outbursts over rational thinking, since she didnt have her people that she looked up to anymore, she didnt have her Glue so to speak. She went from main character syndrome to acting how a 12 year old would probably realistically act in a fr life-or-death scenario overnight

Being a child in a traumatizing situation she latched onto really anything she could get. any distraction. desperately wanting something or someone to trust. so when that damnable doppelganger shows its face, behaving exactly how she used to behave towards other kids (not that she had the self-awareness to deduce that at the time), she instantly ate from the hand that feeds. And there was that :)

Nothing strays from canon between this point and the First Dream. Shes still very much a petulant crybaby and kind of sucks at being a Tenno but thats neither here nor there,, in the Dream, though, is when things start to REALLY deviate.

During the years of war and strife and child-soldier-ism with everyone else, she had a lot of time to think. Shes well aware that all this void power shit wasnt possible before their time on the Zariman, and as far as she was aware she was pretty certain that didnt change the moment they boarded. Over time she fights the memory suppression of her traumas to dig up answers and narrows it right down to that moment she shook hands with herself, something clearly odd and nonsensical, now viewing it with a bit more clarity of mind and basically coming to the epiphany of Oh You Motherfucker. theres no way it was not you. theres no way ALL OF THIS (the existence of the tenno and by extension their eventual drafting into the war, and all of the bullshit that follows that) was not because of you. And when they get told that theyre all going to be put into a cryosleep, because theyre more trouble than theyre worth, really, to just to give everyone around them more peace of mind well. shes quite upset about it. She and other kids definitely try to fight their way out of it (they dont make it far) and rest assured theres no shortness of bawling and sobbing, but deep in there there is anger. She starts to get real pissed off about this whole ordeal and honestly just fucking everything that has lead to it, that piece of her old self that had the capacity for rage and ambition bubbling through the surface.

When she was placed into the First Dream, that quickly manifested well outside of her control. She herself was entirely lacking in conscience, but that essence of herself that existed just beyond her own grasp, that metaphorical spirit that whatever youd want to call it, began to fester in some crevice deep in the Void, not having truly left the place after the events of the Zariman unfolded. It festered and festered and grew until every horrible negative emotion that she Could Not experience in her current state snapped free and went on a violent witch hunt for exactly who the hell made her this way and WHEN she found It, that manifestation didnt relent in the slightest as it quite literally beat the absolute ever-loving dogshit out of the Indifference and (taking some of the various Murmur codex entries very literally) lashed its very flesh apart like a goddamn. kindergarten art project.

Once all of her anger was spent and she realized that didnt actually fix any of her problems, and the bastard was busy reeling for a while because, what in the fuck was all that about, she was left just a lonely, sad empty husk. And because of the Void’s receptivity with negative emotion, it did something with that, taking those lacerated fragments and turning them into something greater, turning them into companions to fill that lonely gap, into the Murmur. they are very No Thoughts creatures and dont understand what existence really is, and like most freshly borned creatures they imprint on the first thing they see (the Indifference) though they know at least the smell of who ultimately made them and are constantly chasing that trail to find the source (hence their appearance in reality in the albrecht labs because we dont really Know in canon what theyre looking for in there exactly (afaik) so I’m justttt rewriting that. for me 😇)

Once they inevitably have their cool reunion or whatever (which takes place a lot sooner than the normal story progression, I just am not sure on where to put a pin) Operator latches onto them just as much as they latch onto her, their Maker, and she ends up neglecting a lot of her responsibilities to just run and play with the little freaks all day ^-^ which really pisses off the Drifter. and makes HER take up the Operator’s mantle, a good chunk of the normal questline being done by her instead.

NOW. for what you ACTUALLY asked for. Im so sorry 😭

THESE three bastards: Prodah, Nahkip, Vedah, in that order. In this little AU thing, Murmur fragments have this little bit of individuality to them in the form of those lighter blue stripes or “veins”, which are more like indentations in their skin that faintly glow with their Void energy. The more a fragment has or the more unique they are, the more respected the individual is in a sort of innate social hierarchy system. If a fragment is born with no veins whatsoever, if they are unmarred and “perfect” so to speak, they are essentially bullied and outcasted to some unloved corner of the Great Indifference to wallow alone, and for a faction all about unity and working together that isnt very nice. :)

Vedah and Nahkip are the two I probably have the least juice for. Not that I dont like them (far from it) I just have yet to reeeeally get to them ;; I at LEAST have personalities and such down

Vedah is like a curious naive little dog. It’s very erratic and jumpy and is more often a follower than a leader. It loves games but gets bored easily, and loves trying to make friends. It definitely makes the most racket out of the three, big chatterbox this one (I love the sounds the fragments make... they are such screechy little creatures it's soooo cute)

Nahkip is probably the most “normal” out of them. It doesn’t vocalize often and carries itself in a bit of a high regard (not necessarily in a conceited way, moreso it is aware that it is of a somewhat higher caliber than most and incidentally behaves as such). It’ll politely listen to others and offer input when it’s spoken to, but once all is said and done, it returns to pretending you don’t exist, going about its own business.

Prodah, the last fellow, is (was?) one of those unfortunate veinless souls. It often found itself a victim of many fights, and it quickly learned that trying to defend itself only made matters substantially worse. In one particularly nasty scenario, its ring and pinky finger were completely snapped off by an attacker and ground to dust. It tried to fight its way out of exile often, but eventually succumbed to the hand it’d been dealt, fleeing to some unaccompanied outcropping overlooking the Void.

Vedah found it, eventually, having sniffed it out and tracked it from where it hid buried in the sand for god knows. Prodah of course, very angry and scared and traumatized all at once, didnt take too kindly to the ordeal, but Vedah’s “people skills” and a rare instance of patience helped bring the guy just enough out of its shell to at least stop regressing into fight-or-flight everytime it (Vedah) moved :] Still VERY skittery and non-trusting. just a bit more… tolerable.

Vedah and Nahkip are friends. or. at least Vedah sees it that way. Nahkip tolerates it but could really give or take. Vedah always wants to show around its new friends to its current friends, and Prodah is not an exception even if it really should be (hence the naivety; you can’t “look guys it’s cool dont be mean okay :D” your way out of everything girl)

LUCKILY Nahkip seems to not gaf. At least not in a bad way. No it actually definitely gaf because it’s been ages since it’s last seen a veinless fragment still kicking around (esp since there is essentially no reproduction of these creatures, whatever exists is all that will ever be (unless MITW feels like getting flayed again. for some reason) so once you’re killed or whatever it’s gg) and is very surprised that one is still alive, figured over time it should have just gone feral and torn itself apart from insanity or decomposed on its own, but it didn’t. and Nahkip is a bit of a studious fellow. so it is very interested in this creature.

There isn’t too much coherent lore after this.. lots of bits and bobs and meat and potatoes but not the most fleshed-out explanation for it all? At some point the three become close enough with one another (maybe more spiritually than anything, cause it likely isn’t so apparent from an outside perspective) that they form a Severed Warden like some sort of Digimon evolution or whatever 😇 There is some large gap of time where the Operator does not see them, the entire Prodah arc happening under her nose so when she next greets them they are together as the Warden and shes so proud of em ;; she doesnt really understand how it happened/works but she knows Vedah and Nahkip are in there and they do their best to introduce Prodah to her. After some coaxing it uncurls itself to meet her and she's absolutely appalled to see a friend in such a sorry state (being a Warden didn’t heal old scars), and figured that wasn’t any way for someone to live. so she removes her gloves and gently holds its hand in her own Void-corrupted ones (that I’m sure most Operators have anyway; shes extremely self-conscious about people seeing them but the Murmur are similar to her, in a way, so with them she relents) to offer that connection and comfort with it. In the same motion, some transfer of power takes place and after a brief moment, Prodah finds itself whole again with two new fingers to replace its lost ones, brimming with the light of Void energy. IN TURN, though, not such is without consequence, the Operator now missing those exact same digits that Prodah initially lacked. She quite literally gave it her own (which is why its lighter-colored fingers in the image do not have the standard issue Murmur claws. also this throws the Indifference for a loop because ??? bastard child I gave you that for YOU. not for you to just give handouts to thralls 😐). This is a complete heel turn for Prodah because while it was initially a perfect, veinless creature and demonized to all hell and back.. to receive marks from the Maker itself??? WILDLY different story. Okay we respect you now. like a lot. like A LOT a lot.

I absolutely had plans to include The Fragmented One in my little repertoire of creatures as well :3c For this I’m going to pull directly from my brief lore document instead of just reiterating what is perfectly fine to copy-paste instead, if no one minds:

“To make an example for the Operator, the Drifter assists Loid in secret in purging the Laboratories of Murmur presence, but ends up slaying the Warden of Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah in the process. The Operator’s heartrending grief at their passing draws uneasiness from the Indifference itself, and her dormant, volatile energy involuntarily wrenches forth their fragments from the afterlife, as if they had never perished at all (this is unknown to her; her döppelganger is the one to impart this information, yet not knowledge of their whereabouts). She dedicates restless hours to searching for them, neglecting her own health, too nerve-wracked to properly eat or sleep. It is after a week’s passing that the Operator discovers an odd formation within The Great Indifference and, upon touching its surface, the structure breathes in new life, lost fragments rising from beneath the sand to create the One. Upon spotting Vedah, Nahkip, and Prodah atop the bow of the amalgamation, she becomes overjoyed at their revivification, triggering a transference of power between them; the Operator’s Void energy unknowingly begins to bleed over into the One, a deadly power donation creating an impossibly cataclysmic entity with capabilities yet to be measured. In anointment, the Operator honorably dubs the creature Fronrein—’tandem roar’—and it is forever at her beck and call.”

this Fragmented One is no stronger than the one you face normally. I just wanted to squeeze in something for my lore that could possibly explain why that fucker is SO god damn brutal in Steel Path.

Lastly (thank Christ right), something I haven’t yet fully fleshed out is that I want to pull the consciousness of the main fragments into the Operator’s warframes. Likely happened at some point during Fronrein’s birth. it’d be neat for these friends to exist in two places at once :) seems totally feasible to me given how freaky the Void gets. Vedah inhabits her Wisp, Nahkip her Protea, and Prodah her Harrow. None of this is planned, it just sort of Happens. the fourth arm of the One also gets dragged into this (dont have much for it. similar mannerisms to Nahkip I know at least), being placed into the Drifter’s Chroma, and she is NOT happy about it. very peeved actually. She hates these fucking things and to now have them basically be sentient frames walking and (telepathically) talking around the ship MUST be some sort of cruel divine punishment. She mellows out though, after some grueling amount of time, becoming a bit more platonic with her Chroma after slowly letting her own defenses down and just bonding and talking with the guy (now that these Murmurs can actually do that), but still is a bit standoffish with the Operator’s frames.

Operator thinks it’s cool as all hell. She’s brainstorming what all frames she could possibly get next and then try to shove Murmurs into those ones too. MUCH to the Drifter’s chagrin. god help them.

ANYWAY. I dont want to beta read this again I just hope it makes sense. Above all I hope it satisfies your ask ;; this is nearing 3,000 on the word count and actually took multiple days to write LOL /// thank you for giving me the opportunity to spill about these guys :’]

#im so sorry this took so long to get back to you #asks #warframe #<- sure why not. fuck it \o/#could go all day about these Things... i historically enjoy factions of Little Funny Guys and you bet your ass it's like half my OC count--#--where applicable #ive been thinking lots about the sentient frame arc recently but mannnn was this getting way too long LOL #just the basics should do 😊

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m0ssycobblestone · 7 months ago

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Thinking about a Trigun au I made a while back that is super self indulgent with a side of projection /pos

I called it the Stale Donuts AU after the donuts I would sometimes get from H-E-B as a kid that, as far as I can remember, were always vaguely stale.

It is at its core, a modern AU–Cryptid Vash–Vashwood story hybrid hodgepodge thing that was also!!! Very much inspired by multiple fics I had either read or was reading at the time!!! And of course full of yummy delicious self indulgence and self projection with bits of me spread throughout like the stale donuts thing!!! Yippee!!!!!!

On to the bits and bops of the au itself in a very rambling way (I'm sorry):

Wolfwood is Mexican American and the main pov of the thing. He lives in an apartment with Livio, who's going to the local college (go girl go, get that higher education ✨). Wolfwood drives a motorcycle because why wouldn't he BUT he ALSO owns a motorcycle place where you can get shit repaired and customized an shit like that (I don't know vehicle things ITS A COOL IDEA I DONT KNOW IF ITS ACCURATE). Meryl also probably works there with him, because in my mind I can't for the life of me separate the thought of Meryl and driving things probably because I watched Stampede first but that's besides the point—we're ignoring that. Livio, Wolfwood, Meryl, and Milly were all friends in highschool (maybe they were in a shitty band?? That's a thought for a different day) and stayed friends into their adult lives (they all care about each other so much guys). ALSO this whole thing takes place in Texas, so AT SOME POINT one of them worked at Whataburger and one of them worked at a DQ I don't know WHO WAS WHERE but at LEAST ONE OF THEM I SWEAR.

Anyways

On his way to the motorcycle shop, Wolfwood passes the H-E-B and has to drive over a short bridge. Guess where he finds Vash.

One day he's coming home from work, and as he's crossing over the bridge he suddenly stops because JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING. Illuminated by the motorcycle headlights, a large, feathered...something startles and crawls over the edge with a sound of pain, leaving behind a trail of blood. Yippee!! Vash makes an appearance!! Of course Wolfwood's freaked the fuck out by the bleeding thing under the bridge, yet for some reason he follows it anyway (I haven't really thought of anything except hey that thing looked kinda hurt and Melanie raised him with compassion ig so)(and I love stupid men). He sees that this giant bird is 100% actually kinda injured (imagine getting hit by a car) and manages to calm it down enough to help it out at least a little, but he's also kinda on his way home and can only see with a flashlight, so there's not much he can do. He does toss it a snack he found hidden in his jacket tho. After that whole cryptid nonsense, Wolfwood stops at H-E-B! (YIPPEEE!!) Livio sends him a text. "You should totally get me a donut from the bakery"

"Still can't believe you actually like those" he sends back, still getting a plain glazed for himself. He offhandedly wonders if the bird thing would like donuts.

The next morning, now armed with a first aid kit, he buys a donut and stops at the bridge, hoping the creature from before is still there. Oh hey look, the creature from before! Now that it's daytime, Wolfwood can clearly see that yeah, that thing is definitely hurt. He says hi, and the creature seems to recognize him from the night before, but still won't let him get close enough to fully see anything other than feathers and old scars. Donut time!! The perfect distraction!!! I don't know what kind of injuries Vash has, but whatever it is Wolfwood manages to patch it up at least a little bit while he's munching on the donut. I like to imagine he's at least a little bit good at caring for animals (specifically birds) because Tristamp Wolfwood taking care of Thoma chicks makes me ill (/pos) so uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhh chickens. And maybe like, a cockatiel for fun. Miss Melanie had chickens and a cockatiel that the kids would help take care of. It ends up becoming a routine where Wolfwood stops at the bridge to chill with the bird cryptid every morning and evening. Eventually he ends up telling Livio, Meryl and Milly about Vash. He also very quickly figures out that Vash has human level intelligence and isn't just a giant freaky animal and Vash manages to communicate what his name is!!! Yippee!!!

In this Vash has the Big Bird™ cryptid form and a normal human one, but can't switch between them when he's injured (like being hit by a car) so it's really great that this random human guy is helping him out.

The first time Wolfwood sees Vash de-birdified is hilarious because he goes to the bridge like normal and sees feathers everywhere, no giant bird in sight, and a vaguely familiar naked blond man chilling in the middle of it all. As soon as he sees Wolfwood, his face lights up and he starts excitedly waving.

"Wolfwood!"

"Needle Noggin?!"

"Look I'm all better!!"

Plot wise, no fuckin clue where it goes from here, vibe wise fuck it we ball. All I know is hijinx ensues and it's great fun all around YIPPEEEEEEE!!!

I think that's all I got for now, might post more if I think of anything✨✨✨

#trigun #trigun stampede #trigun maximum #trigun au #mossycobb has an au idea #hhggghhgaghgsasaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #listen #LISTEN #this au has me in a chokehold #just a lil bit #its been knocking around in my head for the past few days ngl #irls if you remember me yelling about this and the thalassaphobia au idea YES YES #please please PLEASE it you sillies think of anything i said about this that i dont remember hand it over please 🙏#anyways #i love making silly little aus and throwing ideas at the wall like spaghetti to see what sticks #yippee!!!!!#Stale Donuts AU

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whosmaggy · 4 months ago

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consumption is an art!

sure spending time, hours, days, blue moons, to make media (oft referred to as "art") is hard. but there is something more difficult, more taxing, that is glossed over. consuming that work. maybe it doesnt take as long, partially because i watch everything in x2 speed (x3 where applicable), but it has also taken forever to build up algorithms, limestone slab by limestone slab, to get the beautiful (artistic) gallery of content i consume. was it susan wojcickis and marks code? no! it was my commitment to the craft. the craft being figuring out how to destroy the pleasure sensors in your brain the fastest. anyways here are some of my favourite pieces of content because more than consuming it, i love archiving:

youtube

this is one of my favourite videos and its from one of my favourite channels. the animation work, narration, concise detail, and the simple enjoyment of watching it put it in my top 3 of this year.

youtube

i try not to consume true crime, desensitization and all that (dont let the first 2 videos here fool you). however this is well written, produced, and sources are provided. its also not made to trivialize. i think about ada and matthew everytime i see a firetruck.

youtube

on a much lighter note (but not really because scammers are very evil) this video make me laugh out loud! i used to love scammer videos, this one is great!

youtube

i have always found "body language experts" slimy creeps that want to profit off of talking out of their asses about whatever glorified gossip topics they cover. kind of like the daily mail. this video has great research and funny as well. (amber heard i will always hate what they did to you).

youtube

I HATE JOE. is it self indulgent to watch this and then spend 30 minutes going through the comments to feel vindicated knowing other people also hate him? yes. the video is good tho!

youtube

I LOVE THIS VIDEO! something about it will appeal to everyone. pretty much everything about it appeals to me. the first time i watch it was long before i even started playing roblox.

youtube

must include this because i am a tumblr fanatic. love all of her videos tho! this one is nice and sweet (couldve been short n' sweet if sabrina had been consulted).

and to prove that i can read: Salt Houses by Hala Alyan! very well written. i havent finished it yet, but shes a talented storyteller, and i hope she knows she captured the generations in Palestine in a way so beautiful, they can never be taken away.

youtube

survivalist stuff is my cup of (mint) tea. this video is in algonquin provincial park, and i am nothing if not patriotic (ummm), which makes it perfect. #ontario or wtv.

media consumption can kill the mind. i have tired to only consume things i know have had effort and care put into them. i (clearly) have no moral superiority (i can often be found on reels, its a sickness) when it comes to being off that damn phone, but using media to learn and grow, and also support people that arent puppeteered/sponsored by large companies has become important to me. im aware that time is money in a metaphorical way, but you also turn your time into real AMERICAN (usa, usa, usa) money by viewing this and that. i prefer that money goes to people that care for their craft and arent outwardly (i have no clue what these people do when they arent making stuff) shitty.

its late. Good night!

love,

Maggy 🦷

#videos #content #archive #Youtube

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lunanheartache · 2 years ago

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i wrote this to be a whore lore summary but it ended up more as crossroads lore beats after he gets to lot SO heres some crossy lore under the cutt, warning for mentions of underage / child prostitution

crossroads whore lore important beats

* starts out as a survival thing within the first few months of running away from the convent. he is (probably) 15 at most

* it doesn't work the greatest. he and nowhere are both very much social pariahs, more or less assumed / taken as demons

* obviously this is not things im going to write. dont need to think abt it. but its important & relevant to his character

* main things here: he falls into it bc hes seen other street kids do it successfully and get a meal / a room for a night, he is just trying to get nowhere something to eat and a place to sleep if he can. this is clearly a harder sell, asking for essentially 2x payment. also a harder sell bc to the general populace he is more or less infectious. he is scary even as a starving desperate child. it is the skeeviest places in the slums that hes able to get any scores, and even then its very hit or miss

* hes a scary demon child so even creeps (in deeply religious town) dont want to fuck him. basically forced into blowjobs when someone takes him on

* none of this is fun. he is scared & desperate & trying to take care of his brother who still occasionally goes kind of catatonic. hes 15. it sucks. he does not tell nowhere. start of a feeling of personal shame (distinct from before bc they both were "the same." now this is crossroads doing something "bad" himself)

* goes on for a while. it is sporadic & by no means their primary source of income. mostly they are grifting and stealing. crossroads is maybe 17/18/19 when nowhere gets his job with the baker. now they have a relatively stable thing

* with nowheres crime money (not murder yet) they have a consistent room and consistent food (aka can eat once a day for sure). it also means crossy has more time on his hands and more time alone

* he is still a gay teen / young adult. some exploring of the self now that he has a luxury. hes also working more and more magic into his grifts as he figures it out. his grifts get more elaborate bc he can plan them and its just him

* figures hed have better luck magically disguised. cue small uptick in sex work that ends up a little more complicated - hes looking for more money (but they have some) and hes curious. chaotic brain times. agonizing. but hes learning

* starts his priest scam in his early 20s. long con over several months. uses it to get into richer parts of town. early days of it (most human looking) outside of indulgences, hes mostly hamming up the sexually inexperienced & shy priest shtick in bathhouses

* later in his scams, bathhouses stop working. again people dont like to fuck him when he looks how he does & hes kind of into bottoming at this point. he turns more to hanging around the bar of a rich hotel (lion's head) and trolling a bit - hotel is more travelers who arent as bothered by his looks / were going to pay for a hotel escort anyway

* he does not account for this second thing. he doesnt realize the hotel probably has its own sex workers bc in his mind its a poor thing and this place is rich

* (these next few bullet points are whore lore part 1 that i wrote and its technically posted)

* eventually confronted by a hotel employee (technically the owner but crossy has no idea). takes him into a back office and is like essentially like hi. i know youre whoring at my hotel. if you want you can work for me and ull make loads more money

* crossy tries to keep up his priest shtick until the guy pushes that little bit too far for him to do so. he cracks. discussion

* guy (john) is like look. i got clients who talk. bunches r askin me about the priest and i dont have a priest. i can charge like 300% more than what youre charging, you can pick when you want to work (for the enforced scarcity, so ppl pay more when he Is around), and you can keep a good cut. also bc of ur priest shtick i gotta put you in penis jail if ur working. its a bit the clients think its great. hilarious

* crossy is like fantasy jesus christ. youll pay me how much? i dont care what you do, hell yeah. lock me up. i can jack off at home. what do i care when youre paying me that much

* (horny things happen in fic. main important points: crossy, for all of his talk, is still relatively inexperienced bc. people dont want to deal with him. john is like that is fine, i train all my guys :) we'll figure out what you like)

* whore lore part 2 and anything else is crossy trying to navigate this new thing. johns thing is he claims a "reputation for enthusiasm" so cross doesnt have to do anything he doesnt care for. cross is baffled by this & the idea that hes supposed to feel good here. john introduces him to some things. cross falls hard into submissive mode bc he basically doesnt have to think or worry about anything (and thats all he does otherwise. hes an anxious guy). he winds up a little obsessed / addicted to getting to shut his mind off

* starts going to the hotel just for that & the money is more of a bonus. sometimes just shows up when hes had a bad brain day

* he goes wild buying him and nowhere new clothes and sheets and pillows and just everything they couldnt afford before. he still does not tell nowhere what hes doing. when hes not working, waffles between intense shame and like big ol arrogance

#oc posting: crossroads #lot o lore

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faintstatic · 3 years ago

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if you identify as female or fem aligned, dont interact, please. i kindly ask you to respect my boundaries. thank you, i appreciate it

this one is self indulgent because its something i deal with, but i hope for it to find other people comfort too

contents: some angst with fluff, izuku midoriya/deku, he/him reader with mental and physical fatigue, swearing, possibly depression? if you view it that way, yelling/arguing, no quirk au/casual

‐–—drained—–‐

izuku had asked if you wanted to watch tv with him, and you agreed. it sounded like a good relaxing time, but ended up being the complete opposite.

,,Yeah?! I'd like to see you try!" katsuki yelled from beside you to izuku on your other side. ,,I have, and won! But you're too caught up in your ego to admit it!" izuku responded in a tone just as loud. thats all theyve done today, argue. it was normal, sure, but they really seemed adamant about getting under eachothers skin today. most of class 1-A was out of their rooms and lounging around, including you, who was trying to watch some tv. thanks to the two yelling idiots on both sides of you though, you couldnt even think at this point.

you managed to drown out their words eventually, all it was to you was loud noises now. it didnt matter what they were saying anyway, you just wanted them to be quiet. your head was starting to ache and you couldnt take anymore. you wanted to scream at both of them but you just didnt have the energy to. you silently stood up from the couch and headed to your room. ,,Look, you ran Y/N away!" izuku said pointing in your direction. ,,ME?! HE LEFT BECAUSE OF YOU!" katsuki screamed.

you sighed and kept walking. theyre the most childish duo youd ever seen. you entered your room and closed the door behind you, immediately heading to your bed to lie face first into the pillows. you felt like groaning but just couldnt muster it, you were so tired. you thought about playing a game on your phone, but didnt feel like you had enough energy to. every idea you had ended with ,im too tired'. it was like that very often.

you once were very productive and energetic, and you arent really sure what caused you to suddenly crash and burn but as the days went by you just felt more and more fatigued. you were barely active, not getting out of bed unless forced. or in this case, since your best friend asked to watch tv with you. you didnt feel like talking or doing any activities, all the stuff you used to enjoy now felt more like a chore or that you felt too tired to do it. it was very rare you ever had motivation.

you sighed through your nose as you turned your head to the side, deciding youd nap. you closed your eyes, already feeling sleep trying to take over and you werent putting up a fight in the least. when you finally fell asleep, or at least got very close, you heard a knock at your door. you felt anger spread throughout your mind, not mixing well with the drowsiness. you didnt say anything, not only because you didnt feel like it but also to make the person think you were asleep or busy. clearly it didnt work though, because the knocking happened again. ,,Y/N? Are you in there? May I come in?" you heard izuku say.

you mentally groaned before putting what seemed like all your strength into an audible ,,yes." you heard the knob twist and the door open, seeing the once dark room fill with light. it didnt last long though, as he closed the door after he entered. ,,Are.. Are you alright? I'm sorry about me and Kacchan's yelling.." he said, rubbing his arm. you didnt respond. you wanted to, but it felt like you had to strain to say anything at all. ,,Y/N?" izuku said as he got closer. he turned on a lamp that was on your bedside table. you made a ,nnhmf' noise in response and put your arm over your eyes.

,,Please talk to me if you can, I want to know if you're okay." he said as he lightly rubbed your arm. you stayed still but eventually moved your arm to look at him. he smiled seeing your face. ,,Can you at least tell me how you feel? Or how I can make it up to you?" he asked. you took a deep breath in, storing up energy to talk to him.

,,i dont think im alright. i never feel like doing anything and.." you stop, closing your eyes. ,,its so hard to even get up in the mornings. all of my hobbies seem like tasks and i wouldnt have even left my room today if you hadnt asked to spend time with me." you sigh. ,,dont get me wrong, i still love getting to hang out with you but whenever i do it just seemes like you and bakugo are competing or yelling about somthin stupid. it tires me. i dunno, im just so.. drained." you finished as you continued to lay there.

izuku had a frown on his face, he knew you hadnt been feeling well but youd always wave it off saying you were tired. it wasnt a lie, but its more than just being tired. you were rarely seen happy anymore. he felt horrible knowing that he was a part of the reason, due to his and katsukis fighting. ,,I-I'm.. I'm really sorry. I should have been more considerate about how you felt, I get so riled up in my quarrels with him that I guess I just.. Get caught up in it and forget what's going on around me. He's really been getting on my nerves lately but- this isn't about me." he stops himself as he turns his full attention towards you.

,,Please allow me a chance to make it up to you. We don't have to leave your room if you're tired, I just want you to feel better. Can I do anything? Do you want me to leave?" izuku asks worriedly. you groan out a ,,ugmhf no." izuku tilts his head. ,,Uh.. Which part are you saying no to?" he asked. you sighed and patted the other side of the bed. ,,turn off the damn light and please hold me. thats all i want." you said, wishing he could just read your mind. you had talked too much today and it was taking a toll on you.

he felt warmth rise to his face, but did as you said and turned off the lamp. he walked to the other side of the bed and climbed on it, getting close to you. ,,Um, how should I uh.. Hold you?" he asked nervously, unsure of what to do. you sighed and lifted yourself up to lay on his chest, then went limp again. he felt his blush increase, you were so close. he wasnt complaing, it just had been a while. it wasnt often you both cuddled, this moment was special to him. he put his arms around you and lightly stroked your back. you dug your face into him more, enjoying the slow rubbing.

his fast beating heart soon slowed, relaxing into the position. you still looked tired, but definitely more peaceful now. he smiled at you, though you couldnt see it anyway. ,,..I love you." he whispered. he closed his eyes, soon dozing off himself.

#male reader #x male reader #izuku midoriya #my hero academia #deku x male reader #angst fic #fluff fic

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mango-bango-bby · 3 years ago

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Hii i saw that some of your requests got deleted so just to be sure il send this one again. If you dont want to do it you can just ignore this

Can i request a chubby!reader fic where the reader refuses to be lift up or sit on his lap because shes afraid of hurting him or any negative comments on her weight. With Dabi or Keigo or Bakugou is fine!

♡ Perfect Body Already ♡

(A/N: I choose Dabi for this, I know I write about him a lot but he’s my comfort character so I write him with comforting stuff 👉👈 I’m also a chubby person so I wrote this when I was feeling upset about my body so I’m sorry if this is self indulgent!!! Anyways I hope you like this and it’s able to comfort you 💖 Remember your body is beautiful and your fav thinks your super cute and sexy!!)

Content Warning ⚠️: Yandere, insecurity around physical appearances, chubby!reader is upset about their chub :(, hinted NSFW at the end

Summary: Dabi comforts you because you feel upset about your weight (Yan!Dabi x Chubby!GN!reader)

Masterlist ➸ ♡

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

It was normal for Dabi to always want to be touching you, you had gotten used to that fact by now. However that didn’t mean you exactly liked it. You didn’t like when Dabi would wrap his arms around your waist, or throw you over his shoulder to carry you somewhere to cuddle, or when he would pull you on his lap. You didn’t like any of it.

You didn’t mind the affection, no, no! You disliked the affection simply because of your body. You hated when he wold wrap his arms around your waist because he could feel your rolls.

You just hated when he threw you over his shoulder because you feared you’d be to heavy. You hated when he made you sit in his lap because you feared you would crush him. You just wish you were born smaller, then maybe you wouldn’t worry about this kind of stuff.

“Hey, sweetheart” Dabi calls, glancing at the distance between you too, obviously a gesture that he wanted you closer. You look over at him before shifting and scooting closer to him. Although it clearly wasn’t as close as Dabi wanted as he raises an eyebrow at the distance.

“Shy today, huh, sweets?” Dabi teases, reaching out and pulling your arm so you would collapse onto him.

You do, shifting to lean against his chest, although not exactly putting your weight on him for fear of him commenting on it. You already felt bad about yourself and you didn’t want him to talk about it.

“Still not exactly what I’m looking for” Dabi teases once again, enjoying your flustered reactions. He tries to grab onto your waist but you quickly wiggle your way out of his grip, getting a stern look from Dabi.

“Sweetheart, I know you’re not disobeying me, are you?” Dabi says, gently grabbing your chin to make you look at him. He wasn’t upset just upset with your behavior. Normally you let him hold you even with a little bit of reluctance. However you seemed different today, like you were hiding something from him. And he certainly didn’t like that.

“Don’t p-put me on your lap, please” you mumble, sighing before letting your feelings out. “I’m to heavy to sit in your lap” you say, Dabi picking you up into his arms much to your horror. “Hmm, I don’t think so” Dabi tuts before continuing “Sure, you’re a bit heavier than others but it’s alright, I like it”

“You do?” You ask, your voice small. Although you’re not trying to escape his arms anymore. “Of course, I love feeling your rolls when I hug you. Or squishing your cheeks together. There’s a lot to love on on you, baby”

“Everyone’s got something they don’t like about themselves. Even with people like you, who shouldn’t feel bad about themselves. You have the perfect body, doll. And I’m going to show you just how much I love your body until you forget about all of those negative thoughts”

︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵︵‿︵‿୨♡୧‿︵‿︵

Thank you for reading, darling!!

#soft yandere #yandere bnha #yandere villain #yandere dabi #yandere!dabi #soft yandere dabi #yandere dabi x reader

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thomotomo · 4 years ago

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Headcanon: You put on a skirt for the first time

Pairing: Jooheon x Male Reader

A/N: A self indulgent headcanon bc I needed it haha I hope you will like it 😊

CW // Sexual innuendos

So you had been thinking about buying a skirt for a while now

But you've always been too scared to actually do it

You mentioned it once or two to Jooheon and he immediately agreed and tried to reassure you

"I'm sure you'd look absolutely wonderful"

"I'll be here to support you!"

"Don't worry we can do it at home only! You don't have to go outside!"

Yeah he was mpre excited than you about it

I mean he's in love with you, he find everything attractive on you and the thought of a skirt on you?

It was mind-blowing to him

Anyway he was absolutely supportive!

So you decided to order one on Internet, and waited (with stress) for it.

For about a week you couldn't work at your full capacities, you were constantly stressing about the skirt.

Wishing it would fit you well, that Jooheon wouldn't change his mind once he saw you in it.

One day you came back from work with a package waiting for you in your mailbox.

You took it, half excited half scared.

You brought it back into your apartment and immediately texted Jooheon m, you didn't want to put ot on without him.

It was your lucky day apparently because he had just left the studio, and as you lived close from it, he would be here pretty soon.

You couldn't resist though and you opened the package to take a look at the skirt.

It was a plain pleated high waisted black skirt and honestly you really loved it visually at least.

You immediately came up with a top or two that could fit well with it.

Soon enough Jooheon arrived and you greeted him with a kiss and showed him the skirt.

You could see a light turning on in his eyes as he watched the skirt, then you.

He seemed very interested by the idea of seeing you in this clothes.

And you quickly went to put it on.

You looked at yourself in the mirror not sure of the look, though you felt quite cute.

It was reaching a bit above your knees and honestly it fitted uou petty well!

"Dont over think this baby-boy!"

You chuckled and left the room to go back to your boyfriend.

You made a turn on yourself to shower the twirl of the skirt.

"S-So?"

Joohoney was watching you in complete silence with the mouth open a bit.

"You look perfect."

He couldn't believe his eyes, you were absolutely magnificent like that.

He was read to buy you all the skirts of the world.

He put his hands on your waist and kissed you passionately.

The kiss was intense and full of love, and it left you breathless and with a fast paced beating heart.

"You're absolutely ravishing, pleased buy more skirts you just a sight in those."

"Really? Would you mind accompanying me outside in it? Not today but when I feel a bit better?"

"Of course love! I'll show to the world how smoking hot is my boyfriend in a skirt!"

You laughed, a bit embarrassed

His gaze was still on you and you could see he seemed pretty hungry.

Honestly you never felt that handsome in that moment

You weren't regretting buying this skirt.

Jooheon took your face in his hands and kissed you softly.

"You look handsome pretty boy, but I think you wouldn't look great naked too"

You chuckled and kissed him back.

Both of you ended up having a great time with each other this night.

And you were clearly going to wear skirts a lot from now on.

#male reader #jooheon #jooheon x male reader #headcanon #monsta x headcanons #kpop x male reader #kpop x y/n

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kelsiekirbyy-scribbles · 4 years ago

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Did anyone ask for nsfw headcanons of a dead rising character? No? Well this is very self-indulgent of me. This will flop, I can just tell, but I wanted this lmao.

✨Dylan Fuentes NSFW Alphabet✨

[Warning: i wouldn't read if you arent comfortable with 18+ headcanons]

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

It really depends on how he feels about you. You could be just a "pet" and suffer in your injuries, or if he feels you've been obedient then you'd actually get treated for the scratches or bruises you have (might even get cuddles if you're both up to it)

B = Body Part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partners)

If its boobs vs ass, he's definitely an ass type of guy; that's abundantly clear.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum, basically)

He doesn't mind it and at the same time he isn't crazy about it either. He either tries to prolong his climax so he can keep going, or he just wants to cum as soon as possible

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He actually wants to be held. That's his dirtiest secret

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

He's very experienced in everything except being romantic

F = Favorite Position (This goes without saying)

Literally any position is fine by him. Riding someone or having someone ride him is probably his favorite though

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Its honestly a mix of both serious and silly. It greatly depends on how his partner is acting and if he's the sub or dom. Dylan is a serious dom but as soon as he subs, his voice gets high and he's more prone to cracking a joke or two

H = Hair (How well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Dylan's outfit really doesn't leave much to the imagination and you can clearly see his arm/pubic hair

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment? The romantic aspect.)

His expertise is in kinky, rough sex. He hasn't been opposed to taking things slower though. You would really need to be on his good side if you want anything close to romantic

J = Jack off (Masturbation Headcanon)

He does it a lot and he's a little sick of it; he would much rather be with someone and have them get him off

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Biting, knife play, temperature play. If you can think of something kinky, there's a 98% chance he's into it

L = Location (Favorite places to do the do)

In the back of the adult store you find him at. He's not picky, he'll fuck anywhere, but this is just his favorite place

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

If you do anything remotely suggestive, even if its on accident, he'll get turned on. It can be from simply bending over, to intentionally grinding up on him

N = No (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

This man is into a lot of stuff... but piss and scat is just not it. Dont ask him to do it because even he will give you some weird looks

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He has a preference in receiving. He's fine with eating someone out but when it comes to giving a blowjob, he could use some practice

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Somewhat fast and very rough. Its guaranteed that you'll have a mark of some kind on your body

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

He only has quickies when he's been pent up for a while (which is rare). Foreplay is something he loves more than anything

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Dylan is always experimenting and trying out new things to do on his partners. He also doesn't mind someone experimenting on him, although he does complain if he gets hurt too much

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

He can go pretty much all day, but has to take breaks in between rounds

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Of course he has them. Too many, to be exact. Dylan mostly uses them on his partners but still uses them on himself

U = Unfair (How much they like to tease)

He absolutely hates being teased, but doesn't mind teasing others

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's very loud; Not only that but his voice can go up high, giving him an occasional voice crack

W = Wild Card (A random headcanon for the character)

The reason he's not so great at giving head is because of his pointed teeth and horrible gag reflex. Not many people wanna be around his teeth, let alone stick their dick in his mouth

X = X-ray (Let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

His body is very conflicting; at first glance you'd think he'd be a skinny twink but he's actually got muscle..even if its just slightly. His dick is just an average 5 inches

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Too high. He is hypersexual

Z = Zzz (How quickly they fall asleep afterward)

Dylan doesn't really fall asleep after sex. Typically that only happens when he's worn-out from being a sub; that being said, he's still a heavy sleeper and you'll have to shake him if you want him to wake up early

Anyway I know 90% of my followers are here for the anime, sorry 'bout that. Dylan Fuentes is just my current obsession

#dylan fuentes #x reader #lemon #ns//fw #dead rising 3 #im lowkey sorry

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makeyourdeanabi · 4 years ago

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Finale Reaction- 2 months later

In the wee hours after the Supernatural Finale, after tossing and turning in my bed, I got up and wrote this... this was before I was actually active on Tumblr and I never thought I would share this because I was too self conscious. I deleted it shortly after I wrote it because it brought me so much pain to relive it. I have since watched the Finale again and have come to terms with it and I felt it was a good time to share my thoughts. I hope that my words may bring other people comfort who feel the same way. Thanks for reading :)

Alisha

P.S. Sorry so long, I was feeling things and the words just kept coming and coming ___________________________________________

I don’t blog. Never in my life have I sat down to tell the world about my feelings in such a manner. I may contribute on message boards and social media comments, but I never thought anything was worth my time to spill my guts into the ether when I am near certain that not a soul will read them. But here I am. I have to write because if I don’t get these thoughts out of my head, I am going to go full on insane.

That ending was bad. It was a disservice to the 15 years of an incredible show that was not only genre bending it was cultural norms bending.

I could mention the various tropes that this ending (and the previous episodes) invoked, but I am not well versed in them and would never want to do anyone a disservice with a comparison that wasn’t apt.

The buildup up of each character arc and then the glaring lack of conclusion for said character arc was laughable.

To say I am disappointed is an understatement.

To say I am heartbroken is an understatement.

I am destroyed.

I am destroyed that the two men who have been with this franchise since day 1 wrote and directed an episode that they thought was the perfect ending. They thought this is what their devoted fandom wanted.

I am destroyed that the lead actors signed off on this script and went so far as to call it their favorite. I realize Jared was the only one calling it his favorite episode. Jensen admitted he had reservations about the episode and needed the wise words of creator Erik Kripke to accept it. I do have to say that taking the word of a man who left the show 10 seasons ago and hasn’t been involved in all the plot lines and inner workings since season 5 is probably not the best idea. I could be mistaken about the extent of Kripke’s involvement, but I am fairly certain that I am right in my assumptions.

Dean spent 15 years (probably more) of his life feeling unloved, unworthy, self-conscious and convinced that his life had but one purpose and that purpose would ultimately be the death of him, and he had made peace with that.

He is given a best friend, potential love interest, who helps him to see that he is more than that, so much more than that. He is selfless, he is caring, he is a lover, not a killer. His friend’s soulmate’s sacrifice is the catalyst for him believing that all these things are true. He even takes the step of admitting out loud that he knows he has changed. He knows that his life is worth living to the fullest and appreciating what he has every day and honoring those they have “lost along the way.”

To then kill him during a routine hunting trip in which the boys are up against a vampire nest they could take down in their sleep. What could possibly have been the purpose for that? To show that once they were no longer God’s little play toys their lives were expendable? WHY?

Dean, arguably the greatest hunter in the SPN universe, was taken out by a fucking rusty piece of rebar, and instead of trying to call for help and get the man to a hospital (not sure it would have helped) he has his final monologue, the one he has been due for the latter half all of Season 15. He died scared, in pain, and sad.

Dean goes to heaven, and its not the heaven we have been told of in the past where you are living in your memories. Its truly life after death and its wonderful. He meets Bobby again and told that various people in Dean’s and Bobby’s life are close by. His parents live down the road. His father, who was never confirmed to be but was most likely an abusive bastard, lives just down the road with his mother. Wonderful. (WTF?) He gets confirmation that Cas is out of the empty and he smiles, nothing more. He sees baby and goes for a drive, not to find Cas and thank him for his ultimate sacrifice, but to just drive. I like this part because we see a happy, content Dean, and we finally get to hear Kansas’s “Carry on Wayward Son” (DONT GET ME STARTED ON THE LACK OF THE ROAD SO FAR AT THE BEGINNING OF THE EPISODE). I just wish Dean’s path to heaven had been a little easier on him.

Dean deserved better.

Castiel, the selfless angel who just wanted to find purpose in his life and ultimately found it in death. He dies never being told that he is loved, after countless times of professing his love to his found family. The angel who sacrificed himself to the Empty, a horrible place of unspeakable torture, to protect the man he loves. A man who, mere days later (in my mind anyway), arrives in heaven after being killed in a gruesome accident, rather than fulfilling his destiny that Cas fought so hard to protect. Some sacrifice. It turns out that Cas is saved by the Empty from Jack, but we don’t get to see his joyful reunion with Dean, the man he loves.

Cas deserved better.

Sam is left to live this life without his brother, and potentially the love of his life because the writers couldn’t be bothered to confirm Eileen’s re-existence after Chuck’s rapture. He has a family, and he grows old (mind you with REALLY bad makeup in a show that is known for their incredible makeup/special effects departments).

He seems to be happy, but you can tell something is missing. We come to see that he raised his son to be a hunter. He raised his son in a life that, at the outset of this show, he was desperate to get out of and live a normal life. Perhaps he no longer believes that anyone can live a normal life knowing what is out there. *EDIT* Looking back I don’t believe he raised his son to be a hunter, just gave him the tattoo in case.

He names his son Dean, because of course he does. He has a wife who we see from a distance and is never given the clarity if it is Eileen or not. He finally dies after what looks like a slow and painful illness and is sent to heaven.

In heaven he meets up with Dean. This was lovely. The two of them meeting again after so long, for Sam, that is. Dean only had to seemingly wait for a few hours.

Sam deserved better.

For a show that had the potential to go out on a historically significant high, this is disappointing, to say the least. The story had the potential to end with 2 brothers who have sacrificed so much and saved so many people, find a happy ending. Not only that but find a happy ending with a deaf partner and a gay angel. If that isn’t breaking barriers and bending norms, I don’t know what is. I really would like to know what prevented this from happening. Be it the CW from restricting them or maybe the absolute lack of originality from the writers, I am curious as to their reasoning. Maybe it was COVID. Maybe because they couldn’t have those two actors physically on set due to protocols, they didn’t want to shortchange them by having them appear otherwise: disembodied voice, phone call (DONT TOUCH ME) or even a flashback… hell STOCK FOOTAGE! I don’t know and I clearly can’t imagine the reason.

I realize that there is nothing that can be done about this episode now and that accepting it and moving on is really the only way forward. But the legacy this show has left, and its lasting impact on me and my life, cannot be ignored. I was looking forward to indulging in past episodes of this show for the rest of my life. It is going to be a long time before I can watch an episode without anger and resentment towards what I know to be their eventual end. That, to me, is unforgiveable.

I don’t expect anyone to actually read this because I do not have any followers. I have never blogged in my entire life and was only recently introduced to the online fandom, but I needed to write this. I needed to share the impact that this episode had on me. I do hope that it does reach those in the fandom that may have similar feelings and are able to use my words to help express how they are feeling. We can move on, and we will move on, but we need to do it together.

I know that there are people who, if they read this, would shake their head in disbelief that I became so emotionally invested in this show that watching a bad ending would take such a toll on my mental health.

To them I say, imagine this… The Pittsburgh Steelers (my favorite team, they can imagine their own) have an incredible season. A season where they saw a myriad of highs and lows. Veteran players making incredible comebacks, rookie players coming in to their own. Season ending injuries that lead to the next man stepping up and contributing in ways they weren’t sure possible. Now imagine they make it to the Superbowl and after 3 tough quarters, in which they played their best, getting better with each quarter, they lose it in the final minutes. All that blood, sweat, and tears for nothing. Now imagine that was their last season and the Pittsburgh Steelers are no longer an NFL team. They are done. No “we’ll get ‘em next season.” No “it’s just a game and there is always another one”. Just done. Their entire franchise, for a brief moment in time, reduced to those final minutes where they failed to win. Devastating. Of course, in the long run that is not what they will be remembered for. I mean, after all, they have won 6 Lombardi trophies, and no one is taking that away from them. But the sting will remain for a while. *EDIT* This was as close to prophecy as I will ever get, the Steelers did all of the above until the playoffs, but THANK GOD, there will be another season.

If I can’t make you understand with a sports metaphor than I will never make you understand.

I love this show and this loss is devastating. I do hope that it is remembered for more than their last-minute loss. I hope it is remembered for the joy and acceptance that their fandom felt with each episode, for the laugher on set and the gag reels. I hope it is remembered for the individual players who gave it their all. I know it will be, but for me personally, this sting is going to last for a while.

#Supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #sam winchester #eileen leahy #series finale #season 15 episode 20 #damn you dabb #damn you singer #destiel #supernatural

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hobiwonder · 5 years ago

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crazy rich asians | 01

Genre: Chaebol!BTS. maid!reader. Smut, fluff. mild angst.

Pairing: Jin x reader, Jimin x reader, Hoseok x reader, Yoongi x reader. Possible future pairings.

Warnings for this chapter: language. brief mention of oral sex. Kissing !!!

Words: 9k+

Summary: You overhear something you shouldn’t. Now some of the country’s most powerful - and rich - men would do anything to keep you quiet.

a/n: i turned it into a fic as requested!!! ngl…. am worried how people will receive this lol. This will be a short series. no major angst so don’t worry. i hope you guys like it bc i really enjoyed writing it. please let me know what you think n feed my motivation bubble so i dont take months to finish this ajdubejekbfjk.

This was odd. Jin’s eyebrows furrowed – which he was strongly against since premature wrinkles were one of his biggest fears. He was closer to thirty than twenty so his concerns were valid. Jimin almost never visited his childhood home ever since their father got engaged to the secretary – another cliché – a few months ago.

“Hm… what changed your mind little brother.” Jin mutters as he passes the sleek Mercedes that belongs to his younger brother. Nevertheless, he can’t help the sly smirk that fights his muscles and spreads across his porcelain skin. He couldn’t wait to rub it in Jimin’s face that he finally returned when his bank account dried out. Most likely.

The plethora of house staff greeting Jin as he walked along the indoor fountain, trying to acknowledge most of them. They had too many servants and it wasn’t Jin’s fault that he didn’t care about most of them. But it was hard when they all looked so sheepish like they had some wretched secret they were supposed to hide but failed.

“Good Afternoon Sir, what brings you here?” Jin’s long legs are no match for the shorter man who usually took care of everything in the manor so he’s a little breathless as he Jogs besides him.

“To my own house? Where I lived for 20 years?” This really was becoming a strange day.

“A-Ah no sir. I meant no disrespect just wanted to be prepared to accommodate you accordingly.”

“Okay,” This was officially starting to annoy him and the furrow in his forehead was getting deeper. He would not get wrinkles because his servant annoyed him in to it. “Alfred… Anders… Andrew. Whatever your name is, I don’t need to announce my arrival at my own home. On second thought, maybe I should.”

The idea is very appealing as he swirls the thought in his head and it’s enough to make him forget the butler’s calls as he enters Jimin’s private wing. He isn’t surprised though when he already hears faint moans but not of a woman for once. It’s undoubtedly Jimin which is again – peculiar because getting off himself wasn’t something Jimin liked to do if he had ‘several other women ready to do it for me’ if quoting him directly. He guesses there is only one way to find out as he approaches the living area, looking at the back of his head resting on the enormous lounge sofa.

“Well hello there brother!” His tongue doesn’t form anymore words when he can finally see Jimin in his line of view – and his father’s fiancé frantically buttoning her blouse to retain some of her dignity. Jimin on the other hand is taking his sweet time tucking himself inside his slacks – shaking his head in disbelief as if Jin’s caused him immense grief.

“…and Amber.” Jin is no stranger to walking in on his brother – or friends really – indulging in all sorts of debauchery but this – this was quite interesting and to put it simply, messy. “Well, well, well. Did you come back to sleep with our step-mother or actually missed your family, god forbid?”

Jimin is no more rattled than a sloth as he runs his hands through his silky golden hair and smacks Amber’s ass as she’s still fiddling with her blouse. “A bit of both.”

“I-I didn’t know you’d b-be back so quick Jin-ah.” Her pearly white teeth that his father paid way too much for are almost blinding him. Yeah he’s not that bored today to play along with her games so he opts for just a dry smile. This was no surprise to him. Especially when the first person she had a fling with in this household was, well, Jin himself.

“Clearly. Thankfully you know father won’t be home until late. Run along now. I’ve got to catch up with your son.” Okay, that one’s on him. He liked to rub it in her face.

“Step-son.” She’s positively seething and Jin couldn’t be more delighted.

“Ooh. Naughty aren’t you? I knew you were always in a bit of incest.”

Jimin’s snort and Amber’s scoff come at the same time but at least it makes her on her way, heels clicking as she’s strutting away.

“I gave the staff one job and they couldn’t even do that.” Jimin walks towards the liquor cabinet, pouring himself a whiskey at 12 in the afternoon – bringing a smile to his face. He did miss his little brother.

“To keep me from finding Amber swallowing your unborn children?

“Thank fuck for that. I’m not ever going to be ready for kids.”

“Understandable. Considering you are one.” Jin’s shit eating grin makes Jimin pour another glass which he drowns in a second too.

“Please tell me how many ‘kids’ you know who’re worth half a billion dollars?”

Not a trick question.

“Almost all of our friends? Plus, we’re brothers you maggot. And I’m worth more.” His stance widens as he splays his feet out in some sort of power pose.

“What now? You want us sword fighting?” Jimin’s glancing to his crotch before he continues, “I’ll win because somebody didn’t let me finish.” Yes, very evident from the hard tent in his slacks.

“No need to resort to unsanitary methods. Talking will do.” He’s waving his hand in dismissal, watching Jimin taking a seat opposite – absolutely no attempts at hiding his boner. “So, what brings you back? Thought you were up in the Bahamas getting tanned and toned and weren’t due back for a few more weeks?”

“Correct but that was until father announced his surprise engagement.” Jimin is on his third glass of whiskey but looks more sober than a priest.

“Is there anything he does these days that isn’t a surprise? I found out I was moving houses from the real estate agent for god’s sake.” That makes Jimin snort out a laugh.

“Christ. He’s a bastard isn’t he?” Jimin had been in boarding school still when Jin had been effectively moved out of the manor in to a skyscraper penthouse because his father had wanted to ‘relax by himself and no kids’. As if he raised them on his own.

“Yup. Turns out he just needed the house to be snitch-free to fuck his secretary/future step-mom.” Plus he was still going through the divorce with their mother.

“I can understand why.” Jimin’s closing his eyes, heading leaning back again as a sultry smile spreads on his youthful face as if he’s reminiscing an irreplaceable memory. “Amber can make you forget you own name.”

“Right?” Jin is letting his inner, less sophisticated horny teenager alter ego slip through as he agrees with his brother about what a good lay their step-mom is.

“You already tap that?” When Jin just winks in Jimin’s direction, he’s clapping and chuckling like he can’t believe it.

“You’re no better than me brother and please, don’t take that as an insult. No offense at all.”

“None taken.” For a moment Jimin truly feels slightly happier. Looking at his brother and remembering sitting across from him while they talked about everything when they were younger and thought they had a chance at becoming people different than their father or their whole family. He had everything. They both had everything. There wasn’t one thing that either of them lacked or desired. So needless to say, their lives were a little grey and lacked excitement. Money though. That never failed to give him a hard-on.

Seeing his brother also made him happy, sure.

“Remember when we were playing in father’s office that one time he left it unlocked?” Jimin continues when Jin nods slowly, “And remember when we were rummaging through the drawers we found a safe and tried to break into it before Anderson caught us?”

“I knew it! He looked like an Anders.” When Jimin just blankly stares at him he mutters an apology and tells him to continue.

“Anyway. I went back and broke in to the safe.”

“Of course you did,” Jin is rolling his eyes but not finding it surprising that his little brother, ever the inquisitive little cat, went back to do exactly what he was told to notdo.

“No, listen,” Jimin’s eyes are increasingly growing frantic as he shifts forward, abandoning his glass of whiskey and Jin knew that this was something juicy. “There were papers inside the safe. Granddad’s will. I made copies.”

“Wait, you told me there was a bunch of cocaine and ecstasy. Nothing else.” Jimin shrugs once again to ask what was his point.

“And?”

“And you stole the papers but not the drugs? My teenage self hates you so much right now.”

“And that poor bastard should be thankful I looked in to the papers otherwise you would become penniless. Very soon.”

What was Jimin trying to say. “Get to the point Jimin. What about Grandpa’s will?”

Jin’s palms were becoming sweaty and a little tick in his left leg had already started and was about to become a full blown restless leg syndrome like a pathetic little office worker worried about losing a promotion.

“Well,” Jimin is moving across the room to sit beside his older brother, turning his lithe body to the side facing him as he starts to explain. “Grandad’s will stated that we were to receive 10% of our inheritance every year starting at the age of 35. Unless father remarried.”

The mention of money always sped up Jin’s heartbeat. It raced in his chest like he was about to win the lottery. Maybe he was?

“What then… ?” Jimin’s Cheshire grin slowly lighting up his whole face was never a good sign. Until now apparently.

“If he remarried before we turned 35, we are to receive our inheritance. In full. At once.”

Jin really felt like his heart would beat out of his chest. Because that was a lot of money.

“That’s-”

“$10 billion.” There was a slight pause as Jimin eagerly awaited his brother’s reaction.

“I think I just had a powergasm.” Jimin is chuckling as he slaps Jin’s back, shaking his older brother out of joy as they both start to gradually laugh louder. Is this how supervillains felt? Jin’s never laughed like this before and it’s no surprise that it’s money that’s doing the trick. Poor people wouldn’t understand.

That’s when another realisation occurs. “That’s why he kicked me out of the house. Because he was going to get engaged and couldn’t risk us retaliating and finding this bit of information out.”

“Precisely big brother.”

“Fuck…. We’re going to be rich as fuck.”

“If he doesn’t figure out a way to get that clause crossed from the will.” Jimin seems a bit nervous for the first time since he had started talking.

But Jin wasn’t. Not when he had people on his side who would love to make some money as well. Well, more money. He wasn’t friends with poor people.

“Don’t worry about it. You still in contact with Taehyung?” Jimin looks at his older brother with a ‘duh’ face.

“You still have a dick?” Jin’s just rolling his eyes as he calls the first number under ‘Y’.

“What?”

“Hello to you too, Min. Say, you want to become rich?” Yoongi on the other end is snorting before he speaks with his signature lazy drawl.

“I’m already rich, you bitch. But I’m having a down day anyway. Tell me more.”

Jin is smirking towards his brother, his body is buzzing and this is the most excited he;s been a while.

“Meet at my place with the other boys. At 2. Lunch is on me.”

“Yes because I desperately need someone to shout me lunch.” He’s had enough of Yoongi’s sarcasm so he just hangs up.

“Well Jimin, lets go get our billions.” Jimin hands his older brother a glass of whiskey before they make a toast.

“Amen.” Jin furrows his brows again.

“You believe in god now?”

“After seeing Amber’s tits? Yeah.”

“Oh hello there. Eavesdropping were we?” A man is leaning against the wall behind you, hands in his pockets while he looks at you head to toe, two small dimples appearing when he grins rather…. cutely you might add.

“U-Uh, n-no?” The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago.

“Be careful next time little maid.” You hold in the scoff until he disappears inside the room.

“You guys have better discussed Amber’s ass and nothing else of importance because of the audience outside. The pretty little thing Anders hired.

“How does everyone know his name and not me? You don’t even live here Hoseok.” Jin’s scoffing while Jimin worries about the real problem.

“Fucking hell. The staff in this house is more loyal to our father than their own families. What do we do?”

“Leave that to me. Girls never kiss and tell when they’re with me.” with a wick, Hoseok is settling on the couch as well. “Just transfer me $50 million when you both get the money.”

Oh boy. Being rich was hard.

You were screwed. Or at least it looked like you were. Even though you'd been hired months ago - it was not usual to see the 'house Masters' (that's what Anders had called them anyway so you stuck with it). In fact you could count on one hand how many times you'd seen Kim Seokjin around the mansion. though he didn't live here so that wasn't too surprising at first but you did think that he would at least regularly visit his father. the numerous articles written about this family portrayed them as loyal as you can be to your own blood. What behind closed doors however, was a different story.

The eldest son rarely visited his father and his father, your employer, was even more of a rare sight around the Manor. In the three months you'd worked here, you'd seen Mr. Kim twice. And one of those times was when the annual Christmas dinner was hosted. But even for that, the youngest son, Jimin had not been present. So seeing the new face around the Manor today had confused you very much. But the way his perfectly sculpted features, luscious and shiny - oh god was it shiny - hair had told you that he belonged to this family. How close he was? You weren't sure. Until now.

Now that you'd been caught listening in to the scheming going behind the closed doors. He was the youngest son that was asked about a thousand times at the Christmas dinner and each time both, the father and the son, evaded the questions like experts. He was as handsome as the rest of the family so it didn't surprise you much when you found out his identity. Especially when the future house mistress had been lead in to the room by him, all smiles and charming demeanour. You'd naively thought that the step-mother and son - though she looked too good for her age as all rich people did - had quite a close relationship even though this was the first time you were seeing Master Jimin home. Until the moaning had sounded obnoxiously out in the hallway. Anders had tried his best to get to be anywhere other than cleaning the massive hallway that all the rooms connected to but in the end, you'd gravitated towards the noises. Knowing it was wrong for you to listen but not being able to help yourself. The young master's voice was so melodic, so serene, you were almost forgetting that the said noises weren't as innocent as the emotions they were evoking in you.

Your heart had sped up and your fingers had tugged down your uniform subconsciously at the erotic noises emitting from the room. Imagining yourself to be on the giving end of the scenario playing out in the room. But your fantasies had been broken when you'd hear Anders and Mr. Kim's older son's booming voice coming down the hallway. Quickly ducking back in to one of the rooms you were supposed to start dusting in, you'd only caught glimpse of the incredibly handsome Kim Seokjin reprimanding Anders for making him feel unwelcome in his own home. Though you felt for the poor old man. He was nice and looked after you more than you had expected. And the amount of work he had to see through was incredible and you were amazed at how he never failed to complete each and every one of his tasks. Except keeping Mr. Kim out of the young master's room that is. You'd heard the cheeky tone in Jimin's voice when he'd asked Anders to make sure that no one disturbs them. You'd thought stupidly that maybe they wanted to spend quality time with each other since Jimin was back home after a long time. And they spent quality time alright. The noises were a testament to that.

You were suddenly feeling the nervous butterflies in your stomach at the prospect of Jimin being found out by his older brother. And with his step mother no less. Like youwere the one doing something that scandalous. Craning your neck you'd tried to hear, maybe yelling? You'd assumed - wrongly, again - that the older master Kim would be horrified at finding out the debauchery going on inside the room but all you'd seen was a ruffled Amber - you think that's her name from the moans at least - and then joyous laughter which could only mean the brothers meeting. Rich people were bizarre. Did they not have any morals? Nothing settling uneasy in their conscience?

Not that you were any better because you were plainly eavesdropping and that was not how your mother raised you. Though she didn't raise you that much at all in all honesty. But she was quick to correct your mishaps or seemingly 'dishonest' activities. That was all she did really. Mostly your grandmother raised you until you were kicked out at the ripe age of 18 by your mother to 'find your own way' like her crack addicted self told you. She preached but never practiced her own self-righteous attitude more than when she needed to keep you under control. Though your visit down the memory lane is interrupted when your ears catch on to what the two men inside were talking about. The words 'cocaine' catch your attention - it was your mother's favourite at one point. Listening on further was just pure coincidence. But boy oh boy. What were you hearing? Were they going to possibly.... hurt someone for even more money? How much more could they want? They already had enough of it. You didn't realise the pout that had been on your face while you listened to the two brother calling a friend for some 'help'.

Not until someone was clearing their throat behind you, damn near making you knock your head against the wall you had been absentmindedly wiping for the hundredth time. Initially - for the millisecond of the reaction time you had available - you thought Anders would be the one to catch you and for some reason, you weren't as scared. Hence the sheepish smile on your face when you turn around to face whoever it was that had caught you so blatantly trying to listen to whatever was happening. Though your smile - as well as your heart - drops instantly when you see an unfamiliar face in front of you, yet again. And once again - the stranger is handsome, incredibly so. In fact, the toothy grin he's beaming your way is nearly blinding. His white teeth - definitely not natural, though you wouldn't be surprised if they were - smiling up at you as he leant against the wall besides you. How did you not hear him? His body was lithe and somehow you're not surprised that he snuck up on you so easily. Nonetheless, he did and you were in major trouble. He was good-looking enough for you to figure out that he probably belonged in the two master's circle.

“Oh hello there. Eavesdropping were we?” The man is leaning against the wall behind you, hands in his pockets while he looks at you head to toe, two small dimples appearing when he grins rather…. cutely you might add.

“U-Uh, n-no?” The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago.

"No! Uh I mean. N-No... that's what I mean." You're hoping the desperation in your eyes gives him a hint that you rather not get in to trouble.

“Be careful next time little maid.” His smirk doesn't dissolve. In fact, it seems to get wider. Most likely being able to tell how hard you're trying to make it seem like you were doing the right thing. Definitely not eavesdropping. The handsome stranger is only shaking his head as he walks towards the door where the two brothers had gone in to only half an hour ago. Still watching you.

But alas, your mind malfunctions and the only thing you can think of is to get out of there. Too many good looking men you've seen to last you a decade. You're scurrying away back to the room you were originally supposed to be in and you can hear his chuckle even as you go further down the hallway to the room.

Slumping against the wall, your hand clutches just above where your heart should be. You were sofired. There was no way that whoever this was would not mention you lurking outside the room. Who was he anyway? Oh well, not that you would get to find out because you were stupidly caught eavesdropping. Eavesdropping! How cliché. It was impossible to focus on your work knowing that you will be in immense trouble. Pacing back and forth, rehearsing excuses and explanations to give Anders on why you were outside of your given area. And caught by a guest no less. From what you'd gathered about the older Kim son - he couldn't care less about your presence in the house.

One time he'd come in the living area, stayed for over two hours without acknowledging that you were even in the room. In fact, when Anders had called out to you to return to lend a hand at the kitchen is when he'd looked up at you as if it was the first time he was hearing a name that wasn't his own. Even then, he'd only looked at you for a mere few seconds before going back to the book he'd been reading.

But the newcomer - or old you guess, you'd only just started working after all - you weren't sure how he'd react to finding out your roaming outside his room. Surely, he would be just as aloof and uncaring of a mere maid as you, right? Maybe not if the handsome stranger told him about how well you'd been listening to the conversation inside. Oh lord. This was the only job that paid enough for you to send home and also keep a roof over your head. What were you going to do? You minded your own business but the one day curiosity got you was when you've been caught. Just your luck. Your mother was right. Your curiosity will be your end. And seems like it will be now as well judging from the sound of the doors opening from the young master's suite and several pairs of footsteps coming towards the room you were in.

Your limbs moving like lightning, making sure each and every one of the vases was picked up and dusted through thoroughly - it's obvious you're trying to look as occupied as possible. A few seconds later, the footsteps stop right outside the room you're in and your heart might as well have stopped pumping blood through your body as well with the way your temperature drops from the impending doom. Had they told on you already? Was Anders also outside the door? If he was alone you could've tried to weasel your way out of such a mishap but you doubt the you could even let out a squeak between the three intimidating men.

To your demise, when the men enter the room - Anders is nowhere to be found. The two brothers and the third stranger who had caught you stand in the doorway looking all too.... nerve-racking (for you). Instantly you know that theyknow how nervous you are. Nervous of losing the only source of income that was enough to sustain you. The older of the two brothers is looking at you up and down, slowly and calculating. Like it's the first time he's seeing you. Someone like you at least. Some who wasn't at the same calibre as he. Even his gaze makes you feel poor. Inferior.

Thought it doesn't seem to be intentional. He was inspecting you like you were an enigma when in reality he was the one clad in all sorts of bling you were sure you would only see in the movies. Being so focused and aware of Seokjin, you'd almost forgotten about the two other men in the room. While the stranger leant against the wall like he had earlier, Jimin had taken a seat on the large sofa a few meters away from you. Crossing his, muscular you might add, thighs. Getting comfortable with one of his arms splayed on the back of the cushions while the other rested on the hand rest - completely at ease. The exact opposite of you. While Seokjin was all curious eyes, Jimin seemed to be looking at you with sly eyes, blatantly checking out your frumpy uniform and the duster in your hand. The smirk you'd seen in the morning still ever present on his face.

Never having been in a room with an attractive man such as Seokjin himself - let alone three - you're about ready to faint.

"Are you boys going to start or shall I?" The stranger spoke first. Voice breezy like they were about to have a conversation about the weather with you.

your eyes must still be opened wide when Jimin speaks up. "Relax Hoseok hyung, let the girl breathe first. You okay sweetheart?"

His saccharine sweet tone instantly soothes some of the nerves and the smile he sends your way, the wrinkles appearing around his round eyes making you feel all warm inside.

"U-Uh, wh-what? Oh I-I'm-" The elder cuts you off however. Seemingly not being able for you to finish up your stuttering. Hm, he definitely wasn't as nice as the other two.

"Anyway, what were you doing outside master Jimin's wing, little one?" The nickname makes your face redder than it was, feeling your blood rush in your head suddenly. Never did you think that the sons of your employer would actually refer to themselves as 'master'. You definitely guessed wrong. At least Jimin hadn't. You reallydid like him better even if he was about to fire you.

And guess what you do next? Sabotage yourself even further of course. Your mouth has no filter when you're nervous because the words come stumbling out before you can stop yourself.

"I heard your plan to get money from your dad!" The words almost sound like a really long, poorly pronounced word. A breath leaves you in a rush like you' been holding it in for a while after your word vomit. "Or w-well I guess.... m-more money."

The last words are whispered almost to yourself but the way the men are now widening their eyes at you - you know they heard every word.

"Excuse me?" The handsome stranger - Hoseok, now you know - fills the defining silence with the most endearing laughter you've heard in your small life-time just as Seokjin's incredulous tone has you shrinking back in to yourself.

"And what do you suppose... you will do with that information, hm?" Jimin slowly gets up from his place on the couch, straitening his dress pants. The Cheshire smirk still upturning the corners of his mouth as he stalks towards you. Slow, with purpose, to undoubtedly make you more nervous than you were feeling surrounded by him and his older brother standing adjacent to you.

"I-I... I won't say a-anything." You're taking a deep breath before you say the next words - gathering all the courage that you were able to. About to do something you never dreamed you would have to. "If you don't f-fire me."

Even though you are outright blackmailing these chaebol brothers and with a witness present, you can't help the frown creasing your forehead at your unethical actions. Who were you blackmailing people that can probably have your existence removed from this earth?! They certainly had enough money for it.

"And if we do fire you, little one?" The screech that leaves your throat at the unexpected closeness of Seokjin as he leans his head down. Close enough that you instinctively take a step back as his deep coal orbs bore in to yours - challenging you to respond.

"I-I-I um," you gulp, looking anywhere but his intense eyes that won't let you breathe. "I'll tell y-your father!"

Your reply is defiant but nowhere near as threatening as you'd wanted it to be. In all honesty, you just want to keep your job. Seokjin's eyebrows shoot upwards at your feigned bravery and the bold claim. How would you even get in touch with his father?

You'd only ever seen him from a distance in person. Here's to hoping they don't call you on your bluff.

"Oh will you now?" His head tilts almost menacingly, still staring right down at you. The arms that come around to wrap themselves around you are purely in instinct. You were out of your depth here and desperately hoping they'd forget about this and ignore you. You were a mere house staff and a very lowly one at that.

Surely they won't fall to your words. This was stupid and you were doomed. You're about ready to apologies when Jimin speaks making your head snap towards him.

"Calm down, brother." His smile is then directed at you. "What's your name darling?"

"Y-Y/n." Your brain was on auto-pilot and you just wanted to be out of trouble.

"Well, y/n, don't worry." Jimin is close enough that you can smell his cologne. It smells heavenly and you almost want to sniff as much as you can to take in the smell while it's there. "Our mouths are barred," head leaning down just as Seokjin had been earlier, "as long as yours is."

Jimin was smooth. Slick and smooth with his hypnotic eyes, euphonious voice and tranquil words making sure you were listening. Comprehending every word. You're nodding along with him - actions a little quivery. Until another thought pops up in your head.

"W-What if h-he dobs me in?" Your head gestures towards Hoseok's animatedly in your nervous state. Completely missing the chuckle that sounds from the accused.

Jimin is biting his bottom lip, holding himself back from flat out laughing in your face probably.

"Don't you worry, sweetheart. We're all bounded in this contract. Deal?" He's nodding at you, prompting you to nod your understanding as well.

Seokjin is still scrutinising you, stepping back now that Jimin had taken over. You glance in Jimin's eyes before nodding once again - much more firmly.

"Excellent. Shall we seal this deal?" He looks around to Hoseok who just gestures with his hand 'as you wish' with a grin similar to Jimin's. It's like they're all communicating in some symbolic language that goes above your head. Seokjin doesn't respond but now stand besides Jimin.

When Jimin is looking back at you, a singular eyebrow raised - you nod as well. "O-Okay."

Hastily, you're wiping your clammy hands on your uniform to bring it forward and shake his hand. That's what he meant right?

The golden haired boy only smirks at your outstretched hand as his gaze falls back to your reluctant face. Your nerves are settling slightly when his arm is making its way to you as well - thanking god above that this was going to be over soon.

Until the said hands bypasses yours waiting to shake his and settles on the wall beside your head and your own eyes watch its descent. Before you can ask any questions or even make sense of what's happening, your head is tilted backwards slightly when a pair of voluptuous lips take their residence on your own. The noise of surprise leaving the back of your throat is the only other heard in the otherwise quiet room. Your hand instinctively going to grab at the arms caging you between them.

Jimin's kiss is all consuming, his lips gently sucking yours in the most unwavering embrace. Embrace is a bit of a stretch. While one hand had squashed any hopes of your escape, the other made it impossible as it held on to your face, caressing your cheek with his thumb as his tongue swiped over your lips. A whimper leaves your mouth when he does so and only a few seconds later, Jimin is pulling away with a wet 'pop' of his lips. His petal soft ones are moist and gently coloured with a natural deep pink.

You're barely breathing, eyes half closed when Hoseok has stepped besides the smirking Jimin.

"What a-"

"We're sealing it with a kiss, Darling. All of us." You felt like you were going to faint. Kissing one of them was this taxing - in the best way with the way the butterflies were going haywire in your tummy - how were you going to kiss all threeof them?

"I- Okay." You sound defeated and overwhelmed but ready to have someone fill the void that was left when Jimin stopped kissing you.

Hoseok has taken Jimin's place, swiftly pushing his head closer to yours, nuzzling your nose with his - an oddly intimate act - before his soft lips push against yours. Your arms have found their way to the top of his chest purely on instinct once more. Needing to hold on to something so your weak knees don't give out beneath you.

His kiss is more delicate than Jimin's. Much softer. Until he pulls back for the first time of course. Only to crash his mouth on to yours with a ferocity you were not expecting. Your hands are itching to tug on the silky strands of his hair but you resist. You're not sure if you should even kiss him back. What were you doing? Kissing strangers. It was a little too late to think about that anyway because there was no plausible reason you could think of at the moment to stopkissing him back.

"That's enough hyung. Let her breathe." Jimin's impish chuckle sounds from the room somewhere just as Hoseok's touch gets dangerously close to the curvature of your breasts.

He breaks away with a dramatic 'chu' as his lips part from yours. Sparkling from how shiny they were from your combined saliva. Jimin was right. You really needed to breathe before you fainted - especially with the way your knees wobbled, trying your best to rest against the wall behind you. Hoseok's eyes are still staring raptly at you, the knowing smirk still ever present. It briefly slips down to your heaving chest and even though the uniform was virtually shapeless - you felt almost naked under his scrutiny.

Evidently, your cheeks are reddening even further as he steps back, your heart skipping several beats and blood pressure spiking shortly after when you realise who was next - Kim Seokjin. Somehow, you'd expected the state of subtle arousal to dissipate to a certain degree. The substantial dislike you'd acquired for his tone whenever addressing you had been pushed to the side as he took his place in front of you. Your eyes lock, heart stopingly striking features making you breathless once again.

He, undoubtedly, intimidated you the most out of all of them. Eyes flicking back and forth between the other men and Seokjin, you're trying not to get nervous with each second that passes. Hoseok had not waited long enough to let the panic rise from deep down and you were thankful for that. Because nervous you was not appropriate. Not at all. But then again nothing about kissing your boss's sons and their friends was appropriate. You were way past that point. He places his hand besides your head, just as the other two had done. Bracing your hands behind you on the wall, you're ready for him to steal your breath away.

What you weren't expecting was the gentle press of lips against your cheek. A surprised gasp leaves past your - very lonely - lips. Trying to hide the disappointment that's trying to claw its way on to your face, you stay very still like moving even just an inch might be catastrophic for you. Just as soon as he kissed you, he's pulling away. You hadn't noticed his other hand that had been just shy of holding your waist - hovering besides it like he was uncertain. Which was a crazy thought to you.

"Nowit's a deal." Jimin speaks up from behind Seokjin. Seokjin's broad shoulders had almost completely blocked your view of the other two men in the room that you had momentarily forgotten about them.

Seokjin moves away just as fast as his little peck on your cheek. Which makes you wonder if you were that indigent to him, this unappealing, that he'd resorted to a little peck on your cheek. This was ridiculous on its own because your perception of reality was so skewed considering the events that had transpired in the past hour. A few hours ago you were getting ready to do your weekly thorough cleaning of the vast left wing - now you were internally pouting at not receiving a kiss from one of the three most handsome men you'd ever laid your eyes on. Not to forget - two out of three were your employers.

The realisation is enough to jolt you out of your thoughts and speculations, looking around at all of them. "I should go."

Your words are shaky, rightfully so with how much physical intimacy you received in the last hour than the last month. Neither of the three men stop surveying your tremulous tip-toeing towards the door, trying to get out of the stifling room that was feeling too small with all the bodies occupying it.

They don't stop you when you're fumbling with the golden doorknob, finally pulling open the door. Though why would this day get any easier for you, right? And what had you done in your previous life to deserve this.... predicament. Standing in front of you, was another man. That's right. Another one. Beautiful, incredibly so. He seems to be just as tall as Jimin, ivory skin with a healthy amount of flush.

"Well, hello... maid." His deep - puzzled voice sends shivers down your spine as you stare Bambi eyed at him. Why were all these men so, comically handsome? He looks just as puzzled as he sounds.

"Ah! Perfect timing Yoongi hyung." The loud, boisterous voice startles you once again, whipping around to face Hoseok while Jimin walks towards the newcomer.

"Is the another one of your role-play threesomes Jimin? Poor thing looks like she's going to cry. Unless you're a professional actress?"

The last question is directed at you as he looks into your eyes, his own lovely face frowning as he inspects your uniform. Before you can answer though, Seokjin is scoffing, taking a seat on the couch once again with the drink in his hand that he'd been pouring earlier.

"Please, I wouldn't be here if that were true. Come, have a seat. She won't cry." He waves his dismissal of you and once again - your face is heating. This time in irritation.

Yoongi just shrugs, eyes still watching you as he sits beside a lounging Seokjin who offers him a drink. "So, what's the little maid doing here?"

Jimin is smirking again as he looks towards his older brother. "Let me explain." he offers.

"Make my friend a drink, little one."

"Pardon?" Seokjin sighs, as if being greatly inconvenienced that he has to elaborate.

"Just because you got a few kisses from us doesn't relieve you of your duties, yes?" His narrowed eyes are condescending but you can't say anything. Because he was right. You were still a maid at their house despite the little stunt they pulled earlier (you were complicit).

"Y-Yes. Of course." Eyes downcast as you make your way to the liquor cabinet, taking out the bottle that Seokjin had previously to pour himself one.

"Wait, you guys kissed your maid?" Yoongi's unbelievable laugh makes the blood rush back in to your cheeks. They were discussing you like you weren't there and it was embarrassing to say the least. Though they definitely out-ranked you on the power spectrum so you doubt they really cared much about your input.

"It was a transaction, nothing much of it."

"Talk about yourself, mine was definitely more than that." Jimin is scoffing but you still hear the smirk in his voice. "Isn't that right, sweetheart?"

You know he's talking to you even if he doesn't know your name yet but you resist the urge to turn around, already too embarrassed at how easily you'd given in to their advances. Wiping your hands down on your uniform again to get rid of the sweat that's been accumulating, you carefully hold the heavy liquor glass. Hoping that it doesn't slip from your clammy hands otherwise you were in a lot more trouble than before.

Hands slightly shaking, you stop right before you reach the couch, bending forward to hand the newest face his glass of whiskey. You hadn't noticed before but all 4 of them had been watching you. Carefully examining your composure and the nervousness pouring off of your frame as you tried to keep your eyes on the glass. You make the mistake of glancing up at Yoongi and almost drop the glass like you'd been trying to avoid. Thankfully, he mercifully takes it from you - eyes still watching as he takes a sip.

"Sorry! Sorry..."

"That's okay little one. What's your name?"

"Wait yeah. we never asked her name." Hoseok muses from the opposite couch he's sitting on and Yoongi scoffs at them all again. But they did? Did they really forget my name already?

"Really now?" He's shaking his head mumbling 'egocentric fools' before his eyes turn back to you. "Go on."

Taking a deep breath. Wondering if you should give your real name or a fake one this time in case they try to have you fired when you're gone. You decide to be brave and tell them your name. Again.

"Y/n." No stuttering, thank god.

"How long have you been working here y/n? I would remember a pretty face like yours." Yoongi's tone is light, not flirty like his words suggested. He seemed like a person who just talked this way - complimenting people he deemed worthy of them.

"Three- Three and a half months now." Your voice gets quieter the longer your sentence goes on. The blush on your face is now permanent because of how intently all of them seem to be looking at you. you also need to fight the urge to shuffle your feet around like you were on trial for something bad you did and they were the judge and the jury. In a sense you guess that they were because you wouldn't be here otherwise.

"Hm. Somehow I'm seeing you for the first time today." You bite you tongue, wincing lightly at your own strength but you had to. Otherwise you would go on a tangent about how he really rarely looked at the staff in his own home. Seokjin just annoyed you! Biting on your lip - a nervous habit - you contemplate whether you should ask if you can go.

You were soclose before.

"Please, hyung. You would've if you stopped admiring yourself every chance you got." Jimin mocks his older brother.

"Not my fault I look like this." Seokjin is gesturing to himself like it's a great burden being that good looking. Then again you don't know. It could be.

"Settle down children." Yoongi rolls his eyes at the two brother bickering, checking his gold toned Rolex before speaking again, "so, what's this scheme I’ve been summoned for? Spit it out."

"That'll be all y/n." Jimin's charming smile is directed at you all of a sudden when Yoongi mentions the dreaded plan that you'd overheard. Nonetheless, the way your name slips off his tongue sends a small shiver down your spine, nodding at him before staggering towards the door.

"Don't forget our deal, little one." You can hear Hoseok snickering when Jimin calls out behind your retrieving figure.

Knees almost knocking into each other when you're outside the room, you let out the biggest breath that you were once again, unwarily holding. What had you gotten yourself in to?

Everything was coming crashing down onto your psyche. The gravity of the situation was settling on you and you could feel the hyperventilation lurking nearby. These were not just normal everyday people who happen to have more money than you. The Kim family was affluent and prominent. They didn't follow the normal dynamics of society like all the other wealthy and rich in this country. They made the rules that they wantedto follow. Remembering the incident from when you'd just started working here, you could feel your heart drop down to your toes.

It was your second week on the job and your timorous nature was taking a back seat slowly - getting a hang of your duties. Anders was kind and let you settle in and perhaps because you were just as old as his granddaughter he'd told you about. Minhyuk - another staff member that you'd seen around the Manor and quite honestly developed a small crush on - had been showing you the east wing and what your duties included. You didn't have much to do there as it was Mr Kim's quarters, including his study and office where he worked once in a while. Not everyone had access to that area of the house and you figured it was because of his work. maybe he was really particular about the way things were done. You just didn't think much of it.

"You will always be given your schedule of the type and duration of cleaning required the day before when it comes to Master Kim's rooms so please take note of that."

He smiles sweetly as he shows you around. The notepad in your hand, you're diligently taking notes because you did not want to risk leaving all of this new information to your forgetful nature. You swear you hear him mumble 'cute' when he's watching you but the sound of heels clicking on the marble floors distract you both. When you look up - your jaw is almost dropping to the floor. You's seen Mr Kim's partner a fair few times - on the news that is. In person she was even more... unreal. Tall, thin with equally bright and big bone structure. It didn't phase you when you learnt that she was indeed - a model.

"Good morning Am- Ms King!" Her pearly whites make a small appearance before she curls her lips in an almost sensual smile.

"Good morning Minhyuk. Who is this?" She doesn't spare you a glance when she questions, fingers lingering on his shoulder as she leans in a little close to him.

The blush lettering Minhyuk's cheek tells you that this isn't the first time she's been this close to him. He introduces you as the newest staff addition but she doesn't seem to be listening. What she does though is start to question him about his weekend. Making him almost forget that you're there. What does capture your attention meanwhile is the slight rustle - as if someone had walked away from around the corner. You're only able to catch the colour black and a suit comes to mind automatically.

"Everything alright y/n?" Minhyuk's voice makes you whip your head around back to him and you catch Ms King watching you as well.

"I-I just thought I saw someone." Ms King frowns at that.

"That must be Ryuk. Excuse me." She just smiles - one that doesn't reach her eyes as she steps away. Ryuk?

Sensing your confusion, Minhyuk answers your unanswered question. "That's Mr. Kim. His first name is Ryuk. Weird right?"

You just chuckle along with him - completely missing the underlying panicked tone. He continues the tour but after your run-in with Mr Kim's fiancé, he seems to be on edge.

The next day at work - Minhyuk is nowhere to be seen. Not the next day either. Then never again. A month later - you receive your new duties in the east wing. Minhyuk's designated area.

"Excuse me sir," Anders looks up from the sheets of paper he'd been handing out to the rest of the staff, "Isn't it M-Minhyuk's area? Am I temporarily-"

He doesn't let you finish. "He doesn't work here anymore dear. These will be your permanent duties until further notice."

Your heart clenches at his direct tone. He only spoke like this to you on your first day at work. He doesn't elaborate any further and you get the hint to not further question the change in staff.

You don't see Minhyuk again.

How were you so asinine that you didn't connect the dots before? Minhyuk's panic as he'd shown you to your duties after Mr Kim had possibly seen you three chatting with his Fiancé, him getting replaced - fired? - with you. He was simply removed from the Manor and you'd never heard his name from any of the other staff members either. It's like he never worked there. You were rapidly fading down the doomed rabbit hole. Already thinking of about a hundred ways Mr Kim's sons could have you disposed of. Maybe you were thinking too much? Not possible. With this family, anything was possible.

The tear that falls down your face has you bringing your cold hand up to your hot cheeks. Foolishly, you've forgotten to go much further away from the room you'd exited from. The panic clouding your senses as you fished for your phone from your pocket, hastily dialling your grandmother's house phone.

A few rings later, you hear your mother's annoyed tone. "H-hello Mama."

Her tone turns sickly sweet, dishonest you know but you try to trick your heart and your brain in to believing her concern. "Hi dear! Haven't heard from you in so long. Are you not at work?"

Her tone turns serious and worried instantly at the prospect of you not being at work. You also want to tell her that you called every two days after work but she never wanted to speak to you unless it was payday. But that doesn't hurt you nearly as much as her not even being remotely entered in your wellbeing.

"I am at work. Could you... could you put Nana on the phone please?"

"Um. Okay." That's it. your voice is cracking and you know she can hear you but she doesn't care enough to ask.

"Hello? y/n?"

"Nana." whimpering, you try to not burst out crying. Keeping the intense emotions at bay.

"What's wrong dear? Are you alright?" Hearing her perturbed tone at your distressed one only makes the tears fall quicker, making you slap them away so they don't blur your vision completely.

"Nana... I might be in trouble. I-I might get..." fired. You couldn't say it. Once you let her know you were a hundred percent sure your mother would be incessant in having her spill the bad news. She would make your grandmother's life hell and you couldn't do that to her. Your mother needed the steady money to keep her in rehab. You had hopes that since she was at least going to rehab - that one day she could be a good mother to you.

"What dear? You can tell me y/n." Pushing your hand over your mouth, you try and swallow the sob before it passes through the phone. Though you could already hear your mother asking your Nana what was going on.

"Be quiet Elizabeth! I'll tell you."

"I-I'm okay. I just miss you." You could do this. your grandmother didn't deserve this. No one deserved this just because you made a foolish mistake and you hope she doesn't question you further.

"We miss you too dear. So much. Will you be able to visit soon? Let her get back to work Ma." Your mother sounded angry and you wanted to scream at her through the phone that at least your grandmother cared.

"I'll let you know. I have to go now Nana. I love you."

"I love you too darling. So much." She stays on the line for a few more moments. Making sure you didn't want to say anything else.

Dropping your head down in your lap - you let the last few stray tears fall, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You needed to pull it together. Your family was counting on you to keep this job and you were going to fight for it. Even if you were several outnumbered. You had their secret and that should count for something, right? As long as you appeared strong in front of them - maybe they'll leave you alone.

Dusting off your uniform, wiping away at your face and checking it in the nearest grand mirror on the wall - you get to work. You still had a job.

What you domiss though, is the man who had witnessed your panicked tears. He hadn't expected himself to be this affected but the way his heart clenched and his hands curled into fists at your disturbed state - he'd never wanted to comfort someone this badly. Empathy. A foreign emotion indeed.

#bts #bts smut #bts x reader #bts fanfction #jimin x reader #jin x reader #jhope x reader #yoongi x reader #hobiwonder #lmk what you think #:)

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outragedslime · 5 years ago

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I'm not that anon and neither am I against meat Roxy but some people don't seem to like that iteration bc of the widely accepted reading of Roxy as a transfeminine character. Idk how much of it is canon-supported and how much is just hcs tho

I mean if ppl liked transfem roxy then go ahead but. I like transmasc roxy and making me tag my own art in a way that lets people blacklist my art out from my blog makes me Super uncomfy. Like?? If u dont like it just unfollow me or if u dont wanna see my art in the roxy tag u can block me its not that deep... idk how to phrase this well but ive so many thoughts abt this. Again ill say i woke up almost 22 hrs ago so im v sleepy so i might phrase things wrong but here we go (also sorry for rambling here but i rly wanna get this out bc its been bothering me for ages and im!! Upset! This big rant isnt specific @ u this is like in general i wanted to type it in a post anyway but i was scared but fuck it ykno.) Id do a read more but im on mobile ill edit it later

Like we all agree that its bad to erase canon gay charas right? So like...why is it g to erase canon trans characters. Like yeah it was a popular headcanon but like......?? Headcanons get deconfirmed sometimes it happens??? It makes me feel like having a woman hc for roxy is more important than having a transmasc canon, which is. A constant self doubt of mine like i worry people will see me as lesser bc im trans and ive also seen it happen! So thats not very nice! To see the fandom treat a canon trans character as "lesser" bc theyre not trans in the way they want!

Also roxy is literally the only positive transmasc character ive ever seen in any piece of media. Ever. So that adds to it. The amnt of ppl who i seen say shit like "give her back u dont deserve her" like? That shit hurts!! Im sorry but it does! Constantly being told that a character being revealed as transmasc is "not worth it" is one of the things that makes me wanna leave the hs fandom bc holy shit!! Thats so transphobic!

Roxy is also rly rly important to me bc ive never seen a canon nb character who uses he/him either and like! I never saw rep lile that! If ur srsly mad abt transmasc roxy and want to be able to filter him out bc u prefer a different hc pls take a step back and look at urself and see how that can be transphobic. Like u can recognise that a character was important to u and like... be mature enough that u dont make ppl feel like shit when they now vibe w that same character? I used to hc transmasc vriska and i drew a few super self indulgent drawings that i didnt post publically and it was a Super important hc to me but i wouldnt draw that again now that vriskas confirmed transfem bc im not an asshole? If u see a trans character and ur first thought is "theyre not trans in the Better way though so i hate this and will make it clear to the people who like this that i hate this" thats transphobic.

Do u have to like transmasc roxy? Fuck no! U dont have to do anything. But srsly @ that anon earlier: like if thats ur reasoning, why would you go to me when i clearly take a lot of comfort in this character (i even Said seratonin time like. I draw roxy and i get an instant boost of euphoria) and imply that u do not want to see it. Like if u do not want to see it u can just unfollow or block me. Instead u make me feel like shit if im being honest! Ik that wasnt the intention so i dont blame u ily n im sorry if im bein angry this has just been building up for a long time. Like "tag this Canon trans character u relate to and love so i dont have to see him" that..doesnt feel good. Pls be mindful of that h,,

Like if u hc roxy as transfem im not gonna stop you like you do you, im not saying this to bash at transfem hcs. But i literally mean it in the nicest way possible, u dont have to interact w my stuff if u dont like it or if it makes u feel bad. Instead of coming to me and making Me feel bad. U can just unfollow and thered be no hard feelings. I draw stuff to make me happy, and if that stuff doesnt make u happy u dont have to stay, but i dont want to post art of the only positive canon transmasc character i know that makes me feel euphoric and tag it deliberately knowing theres people out there who will actively blacklist that specific drawing. Im not saying its bad to blacklist it, u can blacklist it, but im personally rly uncomfortable w that happening w my art of this specific character so if u dont want to see it u can just. Unfollow. Like 100% no hard feelings im not trying to be cheeky i just think itd be most comfortable for everyone involved bc i dont wanna sacrifice my own comfort and euphoria for other ppl.

Sorry for writing so much and ty if u read this ✌

#sorry for big ol rant im just. LE TIRED.#UGUUGGHFHHHHGHH #long post #discourse #maybe

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lesbiansforboromir · 5 years ago

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Forgive me if this is a stupid q, but is there canon evidence of homophobia in middle earth?

Not stupid in the slightest! This is a rather complex topic and has quite a lot of nuance to it in my opinion.

So for starters, if you’re looking for instances of violence/discrimination towards same sex couples for being as they are, no. But that’s because there are no same sex couples in any clearly defined and undeniable context.

Really the evidence for homophobia in middle earth is the unavoidable heteronormativity that’s baked into not only the racial cultures, but also the myths and gods of the realm. All the Valar are husband and wife couples and have gender. Man/Woman themes and gendered definitions are rife throughout the texts. So much so that I’ve been told numerous times by numerous people that ‘gay people dont exist in middle earth’ which I think is kinda telling as to the whole thing. Tolkien was never going to write this stuff out clearly, but their forceful absence says enough. And that tends to be what historical texts do right? Especially ones written by current-time historians, and Aelfwine’s writings have in-universe come to us through multiple this-earth-transcribers.

Specifically there’s LaCE, which says elves are expected to only marry and have sex to produce babies with a single monogamous different-sex partner. This is offered almost as a law, something unquestionable. There’s also a portion of writing where Tolkien states that ‘no elves are reborn or born into the wrong gender of body’ or something to that effect, which could be about trans-ness, or some kind of ‘a gay man is just a man with a woman’s brain’ sort of assumption on his part. We’ve no way to tell.

So calaquendi elves, at least, deny the existence of queer elves at all, which is an opinion that seems to have been at least enforced by the Valar, which I mentioned in a kinda humourous post a while ago. (And as a brief addendum there’s a prevalent theme in fanfic where elves are morally superior to men in every way, including lgbt rights, and it always makes me pretty uncomfortable but also is just something I generally dislike since all evidence points to the contrary.) But the point is elves do tend to influence edain civilisations a great deal, men often taking their customs and languages as their own and so forth. So it’s fair to assume that their opinions on this also were disseminated down through edain cultures somehow.

I’ve gone beyond the purview of this question but I have a great deal to say about this because as soon as you get to talking about Edain customs it gets more exciting. Differences in culture for elves is more focused on distance and seperation than time, since thinkers of one age might still be around and thinking the same thing in the next.

But the edain have change built into their lives, nothing stays the same. So opinions on things like this grow and shift and change. Theres a great deal of inputs to the whys and hows a topic like this might go up and down in popularity, but the easiest one for us to zone in on is how much contact and respect the men of any civilisation have with calaquendi or their exiles at any one time. The more the edain try to mimic the eldar, the less tolerant to queerness they are. So, taking my Earnur post as an example, Gondor’s Kings were extremely elf-positive. I presume this went up and down, but in general their opinions on the elves (and Valar, importantly) was high. I also would add that I think the heretics of Numenor would have had a KIND of... lgbt tolerance, at least in some respects, which allowed the ‘faithful’ who founded Gondor to hammer down on it as a heretical ideology. Hence the elvishness and homophobia is somewhat ‘baked in’.

But still! Gondor’s 3000 years old, it’s had a lot of time to change it’s mind and I think it’s done that. A lot! Like we have! Movements come and go, some kings mellow laws created by their predecessors, some reinforce them. And then the Stewards arrive and they can no longer actually change a King’s royal decree so it is then upon them to decide if they will take the great risk of ignoring it. It’s a low level running debate that people sometimes like to pretend isn’t there until it suddenly rises to the fore once again. In fact I would say that the end of the third age is a period of relative tolerance for the gays, the number serving in the military is a kind of open secret to many, Gondor just doesn’t have the numbers to police bars and hangouts, and everyone’s pretty pissed off at the elves and valar anyway. Maybe the Heretices WERE onto something!

Now I’ve gone on for... a very long time about this and I seem to be laying out my ideas as the only possible version but that’s absolutely not the case. I fully and heartily forget all of this for someone else’s interpretation. Perhaps you just ignore LaCE and the other themes, which I actually encourage people to do if they wish too. Or perhaps you go into them and say that this all has a different more subtle meaning than how it first appears. I love it when people do that, and I do completely empathise with the want to just not have to deal with homophobia in your fantasy like I do get, respect and will fight for that. I feel it sometimes too, like a kick in the gut.

But this more blunt interpretation is the one I prefer and I’ll be self indulgent for a moment and explain why. So the question is ‘what evidence is there for homophobia in middle earth’. But like.... Would you be able to recognise a world that didn’t have any homophobia in it? Like even if we presume Gondor to have current Britain-style lgbt politics, the closet is still a great deal safer than being out, it’s still a significant impact on your life to be Gay, it’s never ‘not a big deal’. And Gondor does have some clearly defined gendered customs. Women aren’t Queens or Stewards. Women don’t serve in the military (openly). Eowyn’s unusual even in her own culture but Imrahil’s positively shocked to see her at the battle.

And the idea of a culture where being gay is ‘no big deal’ but that still upholds gender discrimination, when those two things (and a whole raft of other issues) are so inherently connected in a way that would be impossible to pick apart, just rings very hollow to me. You’re just kind of getting rid of gay culture and community, but not giving us much in return, if that makes sense? Gay culture is very important to all queer people, it’s our history, we take joy in it, but it was created because we don’t fit into the mainstream. So I suppose what I’m doing is creating a Gondorian gay community and history because I don’t fit into it’s mainstream at all either. There’s also an element of just pure catharsis I get with being able to ramble about all this eNDlessly. To be clear! This is all my personal preference for my personal reasons!

#soap operas in mannish sindarin #tolkien #gondor #lotr #lord of the rings #erran vs tolkien #chats #Anonymous

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victortortor · 5 years ago

Text

jc/lwj fic snippets

this one was called ‘im just a housewife’

“North,” Lan Wangji says, “Near Qinghe.”

Jiang Cheng taps his finger on the table as he looks down at the map. “That’s not even remotely close. You really can’t let it go this one time?”

It’s a rhetorical question. Of course he won’t let it go. It’s not in Lan Wangji’s nature to forget about something just because someone asks.

He watches as Lan Wangji bows his head to this. Even though they both know that he’s going no matter what, they always have to go through this first— Lan Wangji will always come asking for permission.

“I’m not your keeper,” Jiang Cheng says, a feeling of deja vu washing over him. They’ve had this discussion very often. “You can come and go whenever you want.”

That’s not what Lan Wangji wants him to say. He keeps waiting.

“If you want to go, you should go,” Jiang Cheng says.

“...”

He clicks his tongue. “Lan Wangji, don’t make this difficult.”

He still doesn’t answer.

Jiang Cheng frown turns even deeper, and even Lan Wangji’s unhappiness is beginning to show on his somber, handsome face. Neither of them like the situation.

“The request came from the north watchtower in Yunmeng Jiang’s territory,” Lan Wangji says. “But not to Qinghe Nie, or even Lanling Jin. If even such a faraway sect was called, then it must be important.”

Perhaps, but importance is relative. If no other sect has answered this plea, then it must be so incredibly unimportant that none were willing to take care of it. Jiang Cheng certainly won’t be sending anyone to resolve this issue. But Lan Wangji is the type of cultivator that puts no interest in scale of calamity. He’ll go wherever he’s called.

It’s easier for Jiang Cheng to deflect, or say go if you want. That way, it’s still Lan Wangji’s choice. He has to make the decision. But Lan Wangji never accepts it when he says that. He always makes it Jiang Cheng’s choice, and they both already know what he’s going to say in the end.

If you leave now, you won’t be back in time. I’ll send someone else. Just stay this once.

He says, “You can go.”

“But tomorrow,” he adds quickly. “It’s already evening. You’ll have to stay the night.”

—

They eat a meal together in relative silence. Jiang Cheng sends the attendants away, and Lan Wangji quickly gets up to sit beside him, so that their shoulders brush and their knees bump once. They’re both squeezed right in front of one small, square table meant for one person.

“Use your own table,” Jiang Cheng says, annoyed. “Do you want to share a bowl or something? If you have to sit right there, just bring it over with you.”

“Alright.”

Sitting facing one another is ideal when one wishes to have a conversation. It’s easier to see each other’s faces. But Lan Wangji dislikes small talk, and Jiang Cheng just isn’t very good at it. So it’s fine if they sit like that, close enough that they’ll brush past each other.

The food is good.

Before nine, they take a small stroll through Yunmeng. The town is bustling; everyone preparing for an upcoming Mid-Autumn Festival. The mood is light, cheerful. The Yunmeng Jiang disciples are fooling about in the streets and making a nuisance of themselves, yet Jiang Cheng doesn’t even have the heart to tell them off.

Lan Wangji sees it, too. He begins to call for their attention, but Jiang Cheng grabs him by the arm. “Don’t.”

“... Why not?”

Jiang Cheng ignores the question. His hand slips downwards, from Lan Wangji’s bicep to his hand, and walks on, dragging the other man behind him.

They walk along the near side of the lake perimeter, where fishing boats line the dock and lanterns bob up and down in the water. They take their time.

“You think I’m upset,” He says waspishly, after a moment. “I’m not.”

Lan Wangji squeezes his hand.

“I said you could go, so you should go without regrets. You’ve been frowning the entire evening. Don’t look so unhappy all the time.”

“Mm.”

Of course, it’s not like Jiang Cheng is unbothered by it either. But Lan Wangji doesn’t point it out, because he’s kind in that way. All that would that would do is cause irritation.

“They haven’t put up much of the yet, but it’s close enough,” Jiang Cheng says. “You kept your promise, alright? I’ll accept this.”

“Mm.”

Their evening ends like this: they slip into bed together, somewhere between pleased and unhappy and warm— it’s no longer summer, and the nights are cool enough for them to lay a bit closer.

“Jiang Cheng,” Lan Wangji whispers.

“What?”

“Sorry.”

Jiang Cheng pats his shoulder in the dark and replies gruffly, “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

—

(\\uh flashback begins i guess)

While the husband heads off, the wife stays behind. She manages the home and the children, and waits for her husband to return to her.

More than three years before this, Lan Wangji is to leave again, and Jiang Cheng has this particular though cross his mind. Leading a sect is nothing like managing a household, but still he blurts out, “I’ll come with you.”

Lan Wangji turns to him in surprise, and he forges on, “You said it was close to Gusu? I needed to see your brother anyway.”

In truth, he was going to go in about a month, but Lan Wangji doesn’t need to know that. When he fails to respond, Jiang Cheng arches a brow and says pointedly, “Unless you’d prefer to go alone, then I’ll find some other time.”

“Please.” Lan Wangji walks up to him and grabs him. He hugs him, and perhaps that’s the first indication that he’s as unhappy with this development as Jiang Cheng.

It’s three years ago, see, and they’re new to this. Still in the process of trying to explain oneself to the other, but Jiang Cheng is beginning to note that it just won’t work with them— they’re both incapable of explaining their thoughts clearly.

The only solution is to simply let their actions talk for them. Lan Wangji is very good at this step.

Jiang Cheng brushes him away carefully after an appropriate amount of time. “When were you planning on departing?”

“Tonight.”

“That works for me.”

Despite being brushed off, Lan Wangji leans forward again and takes his hand. He doesn’t seem to inclined to let go anytime soon. Clingy. He must be happy.

Jiang Cheng hadn’t realized it mattered to much to him.

They leave that evening quietly, without much fanfare.

—

Lan Wangji is the sort of person that leaves no traces where he walks, quite literally. Traveling by sword becomes monotonous, eventually. They both take a moment to travel on foot— to which Jiang Cheng notices that even Lan Wangji’s footprints seem light, like they’ll fade in minutes, or at the slightest blow of the wind. There’s not a trace of dirt on his boots.

There’s no visible dirt on Jiang Cheng’s either, but that’s just because his boots are a far more sensible color.

“Is there something wrong?” Lan Wangji asks when Jiang Cheng spends too long staring down.

“No,” he responds brusquely while looking up. “Nothing.”

Lan Wangji doesn’t seem to believe him, tilting his head inquisitively. He reaches out to pat Jiang Cheng on the cheek.

“What are you doing.” It’s more of a statement than a question.

Instead of answering properly, Lan Wangji brings up both his hands and pulls Jiang Cheng’s lips up with his thumbs. He holds the position for a bit, looking at him

“Of course,”

(\\ i dont remember what they were doing here probably like bridal carry on a sword like a real couple but unfortunately jiang cheng is allergic to pda)

It’s absolutely juvenile. He feels like a youth fooling around, and he makes it clear to Lan Wangji. “This is ridiculous,” he says through gritted teeth.

Lan Wangji states, “You don’t like it.”

“Obviously. I feel silly,” Jiang Cheng says. “Put me down, we’re not doing this.”

Lan Wangji gently lowers him back onto the ground, and Jiang Cheng grimaces when he looks a bit crestfallen. Perhaps he’s made things awkward, by protesting.

(\\ flashback finale, they found the bad guy and tricked him through a lot of self-indulgent disguising themselves as each other aka. the wearing your s/o’s clothes trope)

“You— you aren’t Lan Wangji!”

“Should I congratulate you for having eyes?” Jiang Cheng snaps, and pulls out Bichen.

(\\bad guy should say “if ur not lwj who are you???!!!

(\\ and i have no idea what led up to this but jc is somehow so pissed he ends up saying “im his fucking wife!!)

(\\ i think jcs being like “time to torture him lol”)

Jiang Cheng says very evenly, “Go wait outside.”

“No.”

“Lan Wangji,” he warns, “You won’t like it. You should wait outside.”

Lan Wangji shakes his head. “I’ll stay.”

(\\ uuuh idk just wanted him to say “would you like for me to step on you”)

“You?” Jiang Cheng sneers. “And who could you possibly be? If you haven’t figured it out yet, you’re no one. You’ll never be anyone. You’re trash at my feet. Why should I pay you any mind?”

The man sobs as he screams, “I made you! I was the one! I made you bleed! I wanted it, and it happened!”

“And what would you like next, for me to step on you?”

(\\end flashback)

In the morning, they wake. It is not yet dawn, and Jiang Cheng is roused by Lan Wangji moving the covers.

He pulls himself upright. His back is stiff; he fell asleep in an odd position. While he arches and stretches wearily, Lan Wangji dresses himself, then hands Jiang Cheng’s own neatly folded outer robes over.

“Thanks,” he mutters as he hurriedly puts it on, moving on to tying up his hair, only for Lan Wangji to carefully remove his hands from their work, and taking it for himself.

The first time Lan Wangji had done this, Jiang Cheng had snapped at him to leave it alone. He really doesn’t need someone to tie his hair for him. Now he doesn’t even bother to complain. Still, it doesn’t stop him from attempting to braid it himself first.

Another meal. It similar to the one from the night before. And as soon as it is over, Lan Wangji will go.

Jiang Cheng takes him to entrance of the Lotus Pier, then gestures outwards. “Go on. I’ll see you in a week.”

Lan Wangji turns to him, carefully watching him. He could say, I’ll miss you. He could apologize. Neither of those things will be accepted by Jiang Cheng, so nothing is said. But still, he pauses, as if feeling that “nothing” will not suffice.

“Lan Wangji, are you a cultivator or not?” Jiang Cheng demands. “Go off and do what you need to do.”

Lan Wangji visibly hesitates once more, and he almost smacks him. So ridiculous! It’s not a big deal, what’s wrong with him?

Instead of smacking him though, he fixes up Lan Wangji’s already neat appearance. Smoothing out his smooth hair, untwisting his untwisted forehead ribbon, un-creasing his un-creased clothes.

“Don’t be such a fool,” he says, a bit softer than he intends. “I’ll still be here when you get back.”

—

Jin Ling arrives a few hours after Lan Wangji’s departure, ready to spend the Mid-Autumn Festival in Yunmeng. He finds his uncle working through a pile of papers, and upon looking around he says, “Uncle, I’m here. Where’s Hanguang-jun?”

“He left,” Jiang Cheng replies shortly. “The Qinghe Nie Sect is slacking off, as usual. He went off to go resolve some incident with a yao there.”

Jin Ling opens his mouth to protest, But that’s so far away! He’ll miss— but surely his uncle already knows. He thinks on it for a moment, trying to find something to say. “... You went night-hunting with Hanguang-jun before, right? Why don’t you go again?”

“Do you think I’m so free that I can just flounce off to wherever I want like him?” Jiang Cheng retorts. The fact that he’s still working even now is only further testament.

Jin Ling knows him too well to miss the wistful undertone, so he says cautiously, “Then… why won’t Hanguang-jun just stay here?” With you? “Half of the things he goes off to eradicate, they’re not even a big deal.”

Jiang Cheng looks up sharply from whatever report he’s been given to sign, and Jin Ling ducks his head and fiddles with nothing. They both know he’s thinking about what a family should be— a mother, father, maybe a child, living together, happily.

However, that doesn’t even remotely resemble the life Jiang Cheng has.

“If he’s happy not settling down in a single place,” he says, “Then it’s fine that he should do that.”

“But—” Jin Ling cuts himself off when Jiang Cheng glares at him.

“He’s the sort of person who hates sitting still when there’s still more he can do,” he says with finality. “If I really told him to stay, he’d be unsatisfied.”

Lan Wangji will always go wherever he needs to go. He’ll always do what he thinks is right. Jiang Cheng can respect that.

Perhaps he even loves him for it.

when i say rereading fma made me write this it wont make much sense (i wanted jiang cheng to be the unholy combination of izumi curtis and winry rockbell) but anyway welcome to zhancheng hell

#mo dao zu shi #my writing #current mood: would you like for me to step on you

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